Phil Duncan

@TaraBull He wasn't clearing the rock either way.

This absolute UNIT in a speedo launches off the rock, SLIPS mid-air, pancake-slaps with a thunderous THWACK and gets yeeted into the abyss. An instant viral classic is born

@DavidFischer I played a few times but died almost immediately.

Be honest: who is old enough to say they played this game?

@Lawton_Times I was only 3 seconds from the 100m world record. So freaking close.

Embarrassing

@RealJamesWoods A chainsaw would've been much faster.

Leave them there and set up some cones in the highway.

@Will_Tanner_1 What he was born to do. 25 years to life.

Fentanyl, probably

@ProudBavaria I'll be over here playing CK3...

Can't stop laughing, as cheap as the joke is

@chasedownleads 26 months? They arrested him when he stopped stocking the machines?

So passive income is illegal now?

@GadSaad @globeandmail @nytimes I finished listening to it today. It was quite a nice bonus having you read it.

I'm delighted to report that Suicidal Empathy is also the Instant #1 bestseller of @globeandmail for both general and Canadian nonfiction lists. Hence, thus far it has achieved the instant #1 bestseller of the @nytimes (hardcover nonfiction and combined print and ebooks), the @globeandmail, @audible_com, the @TorontoStar, and @PublishersWkly. Not bad!

@chasedownleads My ancestors did this a millennium ago.

Just spoke to a 900 year old wizard Asked how he generates passive income 800 years ago, he buried a single gold coin in a dragon-guarded alchemist vault yielding a modest 5% annual return. Thanks to the magic of compounding, that one coin is now worth roughly 11.8 quintillion gold pieces Lesson: patience pays off in investing

@Minifilmflicks I still do the Van Damme pose and scream.

80s action movies had a certain charm that we won't ever see again.

Stephen Afrifa golazo 🔥

@chasedownleads And now he homeless.

Know a guy who bought a house in 1980 for $50k Just sold it for $550k Made $500k He only has to live to 200 years old to become a multi-millionaire with this strategy Real estate is the worst way to get rich

@UltraRunner26 15k. It's only 5 more than a 10k. Right?

We all know a 5k can be brutal. But what race distance have you had the biggest struggle with getting right?

@UltraRunner26 If you run it correctly it isn't easy.

If you thinking racing a 5k is easy, then you still haven't raced a 5k.

KEEP PUSHING 👊

@sperrydaniel94 Bunker and counter to the skinny guys.

Media Game time. We'll do our best not to embarass ourselves! #SportingKC

@Lifeinvestmoney Should have challenged Timmy to a game of dodgeball.

Today was career day at my son's school Naturally I was excited to present to the class what I do "You see kids, I post on Twitter all day and make up fake stories to generate views" They weren't getting it I opened my laptop, "This is my account called Worst Finance Takes... Instead of telling people how to get rich I tell them how to get rich, but the wrong way" Blank stares One kid raised his hand, "So you scam people?" Finally they get it! "That's exactly right! And if I do this enough I can make as much as $180 every single month!" Little Timmy can't hold back: "My dad gives good financial advice and makes "$450k/yr. Why don't you do that?" I sent Timmy to detention "Any other questions?" The class was silent I handed out coupons to every kid for 10% off my passive income course Teacher told me not to come back next year She's poor anyways

@Variety We really don't like you, Sally.

Sally Field says she thought Robin Williams "wasn't funny" while filming "Mrs. Doubtfire": “Robin was always trying something different to make me laugh. It was so unfunny. I can't begin to tell you. And then Pierce, wonderful Pierce Brosnan, we were sitting at a table at the restaurant, and he made a fart noise on his arm. And I was gone. That was it.” variety.com/2026/film/news…

With this game over and a game Wednesday, surprised #SportingKC only made 2 half time changes.

@sperrydaniel94 Absolutely expected.

An own goal makes it four. Absolutely unfortunate.