Andrew

One more episode of "My Little Pony", pop a Valium. Fly to Finland.

made enough doing comedy this month to take my ex to a french bistro

year of Yonke

I’m at work and I just randomly thought about Benny The Butcher’s Pyrex mascot. I wonder how he’s doing.

If nobody copying u…. I hate to break it to u

somewhere between Omaha and Kansas City blasting Limp Bizkit trying to stay awake

i know my chances are slim but i’m refreshing that Skankfest New Blood lineup every couple minutes 🙏

Tatiana i was right here whole time

ex kicked me out so i spent last night watching footage from the iraq war

@meowletty ?

was boston richey douching beforehand or do yall think he painted tati

Making love to a woman only for her to wake in the dead of night to find me perched on her fire escape like a gargoyle and I whisper “Dont tell the world about my penis” before I extend my arms like the Crow and drop backwards, breaking every bone in my body on the pavement below

the reason people don’t support the war in Iran is because we don’t have Toby Keith anymore

tsu surf home??

the lion is moving in silence

sitting on 435 thinking of all my mistakes

i’ve had worse so i don’t mind

in this economy stores should ask us if we want to round down to decrease funding for childhood illnesses or something

Schrodingers Pussy