Dobbie Dippenaar

to be honest i find it hard to believe that theres someone out there that would be able to spend the rest of their life with me

I would never cheat in a relationship because that would require two people finding me attractive

The longer I take to reply to your text the less I like you

When a girl says she'll be ready in 5 more minutes, she's using the same time scale as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.

2014 - mik noord en fok voort

I laugh at my own texts before I send them because I am that damn funny.

What do ducks smoke? Quack...

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? A: a knife has a point

A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.

Yo mamma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

Yo Mamma is so ugly, her nickname is hairy pooter.

Yo Mamma is so dirty she slowed down speed stick.

Project X is an inspirational movie.

If your friends don’t make fun of you, then they’re not really your friends.

We all have a friend that only gets called by their nickname, and it sounds weird to even say their real name.

Alcohol and drugs is never the answer, unless the question is, "what are you doing this weekend?"

Stop emo jokes, cut it out

Stop these cripple jokes, I can't stand it

I was going to tell a black joke but I'll SLAVE it for later