Luke Johnson

When the Jazz play on Conference Sunday and lose by 1

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fighters dog or something

I went to @ChickfilA in Pocatello and they had 0 Chick-fil-A sauce O Refills 0 My Pleasures My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined 😔

@jwomac03 This hurts

Guys! I have absolutely nothing interesting to share.

@CarverBallard14 @jwomac03 The truth is brutal

One of these years I’ll spend Valentine’s Day with a girl instead of making like a thousand pizzas

@CarverBallard14 @jwomac03 Ya I just saw it 😔

I forgot to get a date to watch Groundhog Day with me tonight. I guess I’ll just have to keep reliving the day until I get it right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I’ve had 7 chicken strips today. I am more chicken than man” -Mason

Next year I’m bringing my own shopping cart to Black Friday.

@benrector ??

Question Of The Day: Will they let me bring a pineapple into the Ben Rector concert?

All you have to do is say “Peach Cobbler” at my house and we will be having peach cobbler that night.

Marshmallow sales after ghost busters came out 📈📈

@BrevinEgbert Yup

@6luke_johnson do you come up with these by yourself?

Why does everyone have Air Fryers but not Jetpacks. We can fry with air but we can’t fly with air?

I started a band called Abrasion. It didn’t last long, we all kept rubbing each other the wrong way.

I went to a Red Sox’s game once. I ate the hotdog, basically done it all now.