Dirty

🚨 Pete Davidson mocked the assassination of Charlie Kirk with a brutal throat joke at the Kevin Hart roast Tony Hinchcliffe joked about George Floyd in the same roast Guess which one triggered a media meltdown, family statements, a press conference and widespread condemnation?

To every single keyboard commando, ranch-owning keyboard warrior, and "scaredy-cat" PhD who flooded the comments with this masterpiece of tactical genius: Oh, bless your fragile little hearts. You watched a man on a remote trail, gun already drawn, screaming "GET BACK, MOTHERFUCKER" at a 120-pound mountain lion that was staring him down like a free all-you-can-eat buffet, ears pinned forward, teeth flashing, refusing to budge an inch — and your galaxy-brain takeaway was "warning shot, bro." A warning shot. Because in your expert opinion, formed exclusively from Call of Duty cutscenes and that one time your mom's tabby ran from the vacuum, apex predators are just big scaredy-cats who need a polite "hey, this is my trail, kthx" in the form of a 9mm skyrocket. The lion's already decided you're lunch, adrenaline is pumping, it's 20 feet away and closing, but sure — let's play Disney wildlife educator and waste the one round you might actually need while it covers that distance in a single goddamn leap. Brilliant. Darwin's watching and he's crying laughing. "Pathetic... even people who break into homes get a warning shot." My dude, burglars don't have 4-inch canines and the ability to sever your spine before you finish clicking a Yelp star. This isn't a home invasion; this is nature's home invasion, and the intruder is the 150-pound murder machine that evolved specifically to turn hikers into protein shakes. You didn't "invade her territory" — you were on a public trail minding your business while she was auditioning for the role of "Final Boss." But go off, king. Tell us more about how you'd have "postured up and been loud" while holding your phone in one hand and your balls in the other. And the absolute chef's kiss — the Texas ranch owner who's been hunting since he was 8: "This is straight pussy shit. Grow a pair." Sir, the only thing you've grown is a false sense of security from shooting paper targets and deer that don't fight back. Real talk: your entire "experience" evaporates the second something with actual claws looks at you like a value meal. This guy didn't flinch, didn't run, didn't cry for his mommy — he stood ground, gave verbal commands, kept the gun ready, and only fired when the animal made it crystal clear it wasn't leaving without a souvenir. That's not a "pussy." That's called not dying. But please, keep lecturing from your air-conditioned F-150 about how you'd have heroically scared it off with a single magical warning shot that somehow never fails, never provokes a charge, and never leaves you standing there with an empty chamber and a very angry cat. You people aren't wildlife experts. You're not even weekend warriors. You're the reason natural selection needs a group chat. The mountain lion showed more balls in 28 seconds than all of you combined have in your entire comment history. Next time a predator decides you're dinner, just remember: the guy in the video went home. You would've gone viral as "Texas Man Becomes Mountaing Lion Chow After Epic Warning Shot Fail." Stay safe out there, keyboard legends. The wilderness is already full of apex predators — it doesn't need any more from the replies. 🤡

The new logo for Infowars has been revealed. The Onion has successfully landed a deal to take over Alex Jones' site after 17 months of legal issues. Tim Heidecker will serve as the site's creative director.

‼️GAMERS ONLY‼️ Whats one "dead" game, you'd revive rn if you could?