Adam Eshbaugh

LeBron is the only one with the heart and killer instinct @usabasketball is desperate for. Got that old man strength!

Coming out of Twitter hibernation to remark on how awful @usabasketball looks. Zero continuity, defense, rebounding, communication, or give a shit through three quarters vs a German team that is doing all of it. Might be a rough couple weeks in Paris.

Few people need more validation in their lives than the grown-ass men who fill in the background for the Canes pregame show.

Speaking the language of the people.

Wanna hear a joke? Maryland Football right now

Let’s be very honest: No one has benefitted more from this Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce relationship than Brittany Mahomes.

Guys, I thought we’d made it past this, but I’ve realized we haven’t. So, please repeat after me: BUD LIGHT WILL NOT MAKE ME GAY. OR TRANS. OR A NON-ALPHA MALE. Also, your jorts will fit just the same. And your huge truck will still fit in the same parking spot.

My life is all about balance right now. Equal parts: -work -family -crazy TikTok duets with the pesto girl

Just in case you guys didn’t know, Toppling Goliath is now in NC! Only 8-9 years too late.

MD sports are stupid. Bradish is getting owned in the 4th and the Terps have made way too many mistakes to beat anyone. I hate October and its perfect weather and crisp air and teams that make my family want to check me into rehab.

Just in case you didn’t know, if you have to add the words “Alpha Male” to your profile on any social media platform, you’re likely not necessarily an alpha male. Follow me for more common sense tips to get through life without being laughed at!

FYI: @CrumblCookies Oatmeal Cream Pie pairs really freaking well with bourbon!

In case anyone was wondering, Emo Jimmy Butler has given me some serious life today.

Terps time! Leggooooo!

Clearly CU doesn’t practice the onside kick very often. But, good job, good effort. Let’s go get some ice cream, kids!

I feel like this Colorado game is like watching your kid play on a team that’s a level above them but he’s playing out of his mind and, even though you know he’ll lose, you’re gonna go to Cookout for a milkshake afterward to celebrate.

@lebrownlow This offensive play-calling is a little perplexing, considering the time and score.

@lebrownlow The second half has been a lot of fun to watch.