BLAKE

@BarstoolBigCat @ColeyMick I want so badly for this to be true

@heatdaddy69420 That’s cuz Tyler Ennis dropped 3 apples on their hairy asses in juniors

The Turkish mob almost kicked my fucking ass last night but luckily we figured it out. Didn’t even know there was a Turkish mob. Great hairlines, really bad tempers. More details on the Rob Gucci show/HB3 this week. Thanks to all 14 listeners.

@JagrHabs @J_Swish24 That’s just the smell of a disappointed dad somewhere

@J_Swish24 Why do strippers all smell the same? Is there a specific perfume given to them when hired

Look I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Last night I ended up at a local Las Vegas Adult Ballet establishment also know as a strip club for lack of a better term by accident again. But I didn’t go there for what some of you freaks think the reason is, the Spearmint Rhino has elite Diet Coke out of the fountain and a sneaky good chicken breast sandwich that comes with a side of thighs. And as I was sitting there talking to Diamond, Candy and Krystal about life and what we all want to be when we grow up, it hit me that these women are just independent contractors. It’s no different than hiring a plumber to come over and fix your clogged shitter. They offer you a service and in exchange you trade currency. And then it dawned on me that Adam Silver cancelling Magic City night in Atlanta was some of the softest shit we’ve seen in recent time. Imagine catering to an audience who doesn’t value hardworking honest women known as strippers? But we cater and force other select promotional nights on people. Everyone doesn’t agree with Trans night but we’re sold on the idea of being inclusive and pro choice. And if these nights aren’t promoted the organizations are looked at from a select group of people as bad humans. And let me be clear, I don’t care if you chop your hose off and think your real name should be Caitlyn instead of John, by all means put lipstick on and do whatever makes you happy, but don’t take Strip Club nights away from us old school masculine straight men. We’re already being phased out. We need to shine light on the beautiful women who are hustling to make ends meet. I wish we were mic’d up last night because nobody at that joint felt like they “had” to be there. It was simply a way to make some extra cash. I didn’t even get even get a dance. I’m not a cabaret guy. I’ve never paid to play. But the sense of community was a real thing in there last night at 4:47am. My point being is it’s gotta be a two way street. We all went to Dennys afterwards and then caught morning mass.. Anyways, anyone boozing? How is it? -Uncle Swishy

@GarysheffieldJr It’s called percocets you fucking nerd

If Tiger blew triple zeroes why is he being charged with a DUI?

@TheTylerK @MorganFreebenda @J_Swish24 Metallica Moscow 91’ fella

@MorganFreebenda @J_Swish24 Free Bird

This picture goes so hard. Especially when you’re on more pharmaceuticals than a trust fund housewife. Eldrick Woods. Dude loves to drive high. And he still ain’t great at it. -People’s

@wobblymami That’s baseball

#Need that nut

Getting back on my birth control I can’t take this hell anymore

@Jackkk That’s baseball

Mike Majlak reveals he was upset by the way SteveWillDoIt acted on their IMPAULSIVE episode “We cut a lot of stuff out of the episode. We really went out of our way to protect him and he kinda like sh-t on us afterwards” “I still love Steve after all that happened but it was a bit upsetting for me as someone who’s been friends with Steve for a long time, to kinda have that happen”

@patbev21 @Bc101089 @barstoolsports @VivaLaStool @hoopinghollerin Stop kicking the fuck outta your sister and you’ll get to be Gilbert Arenas big dog

@barstoolsports @VivaLaStool @hoopinghollerin 🍿🍿🎥PatBevShow™️

@StoolAfterDark @barstoolsports Jeff D Lowe level of stupid rules and stipulations

Tate explains tonight’s stream to the pros

@TheDunkCentral @TheNBABase He chose Lamar Odom to say that? My fucking ass lol

Lamar Odom says Kobe visited him in a dream “He looked back at me and said, ‘Hello, the afterlife is not what people make it up to be.’” (Via DOUBL3 COVERAGE / h/t @TheNBABase )

@TomDwan @ClubWPTGold Tom this is Barack Obama from my burner please don’t tell anybody. You interested in some top secret info brother?

Do u know who owns @ClubWPTGold ?

@C_Reilly5 @DMRussini wtf you going on about?

Maxx Crosby did not pass his physical today, per sources. The Ravens get their first round picks back.

@C_Reilly5 @DMRussini It was a dutchie you fucken nerd

@DMRussini It’s because he just smoked weed and lied about being sober You can’t make this stuff up

@d0wnsideofme You don’t know how sarcasm works bud

action network admin doesn't know how hockey works lol

@FanaticsBook 3874

Let's do this: Guess a number between 1-5000

@DK_Assist $2,890

All 4 TDs of Super Bowl LX came in the 4th quarter. If no TDs were scored in the game, can you guess what the "No Touchdown Scorer" #KingOfTheEndZone payout would've been? 🤔

@Fal_Neil @DudespostingWs How much fucking Tylenol did your mom munch?

@DudespostingWs My 12 year old can do this except he can name both teams that played and the score. 🥱

This dude named every Super Bowl winner from memory

@barstoolsports Listening without the video it just sounds like a standard soccer game

One year ago Montoya watched his girl have sex with another guy on national tv

@naythaniell @jacobh_5 @hen_ease @PardonMyTake @BarstoolBigCat You mean like what PMT does every episode?

@jacobh_5 @hen_ease @PardonMyTake @BarstoolBigCat Why do people keep beating a dead horse that wasn’t funny to begin with?

- Won $40,000 - Sold 1000 Gnomes - Going to another Super Bowl - Get to kick back and enjoy some football and then record a new episode of @PardonMyTake #Sunday

@JulianTPBTW @Devan_Kaney @EliotShorrParks Probably best case scenario. Anybody but Robinson. Then trade AJ for whatever you can get, draft WRs and sign a vet or two, prepay some of the guys we have due for contracts next offseason, and run this shit back.

@ABaller69 @Devan_Kaney @EliotShorrParks I think we'll get Daboll

My ranking of current OC options connected to Eagles: 1. Zac Robinson 2. Jim Bob Cooter 3. Brian Daboll 4. Mike Kafka 5. Charlie Weis Jr.

@Devan_Kaney @JulianTPBTW @EliotShorrParks He’s getting an HC position. Theres zero chance. We all gotta move on

@JulianTPBTW @EliotShorrParks Mike McDaniel. Anyone but #1