UnklAndy

My hand is fucked up and I LIKE it.

Wow nice forks, man. Mind if I test out the mouthfeel?

It’s funny when prince sings “maybe I’m just like my father” cuz what if prince’s dad is exactly like prince

@collnsmith It wasn’t always like that. He got addicted at some point.

@paulrust I asked for one and what do they give me? A one-way ticket to imagination.🤷‍♂️

Did I tell you I got a VIP passport that can take me ANYWHERE in the world for free? Uh-huh. It’s called a library card. Get yours today.

@jamieloftusHELP Sweet dryer door refleksh. Very psychedelic

new apartment update

@MsSarahGuzzardo Was it?

7 year old wanted to hear a song from “a Minions movie” (there are 5) did not know lyrics, title, melody or where the song occurred. He said it went “duh duh da duh” and I said “…I don’t know HOW this could be but is it… the Mission Impossible theme?” Sherlock could never

@doughboyspod @MikeHanford @zachcherrygmail Wow tasty lineup!

Breaking Chews! Joining us for our NYC live show at the Palladium on June 9th will be Mike Hanford, Zach Cherry, and Tami Sagher! Tickets still left at headgum.com/live

@marcmaron @OnlyAnExpert @WTFpod Fuck yes

@chelseaperetti Vintage CP

the word puke is gross but it is right

@TheSloppyBoys @MikeHanford @meals_by_cug Mannggg!

Take care, brush ya hair

@scullymike This is a proper joke

You have to stab the small rooms for years before you're ready for the Bowl

@MikeHanford Oh yeah right!

Fun Fact - “The Movies” Edition: The film was originally titled “Jurassic Flark” until an on-set medic suggested “Why not make the title of the movie the thing that it says on those big gates?” The rest, as they say, is cinematic history.

@markmcconville @TownlandBand @TheFederalNoHo @TheSloppyBoys @DontStopOrWell1 Wow wow wow 3 great bands!

@paulrust @MattGourley The stars aligned this week for Trustees in Atlanta.

I heard that when Yo-Yo Ma was asked to play at the Inaugural program, he said, “OK but do not ask me to play the fucking cello.” He eventually agreed so that the nation could heal.

A wolverine is when a wolf fucks a tangerine and that’s just a fact.

When you knew the recount wouldn’t overturn a result but while they were doing the recount your paranoid mind started inventing nightmarish coup scenarios but then the recount comes in and the result has NOT been overturned, as you knew it would not be.

@johnmoe A man, a plan, bamlanivimab. Panama.

Whoa Black Betty

@willhines yeah right as if

Just did 15,000 crunches. I didn’t even think that was possible!