M J

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M J

@ACountryChap

Outrageous rural ruffian. Land Agent & Ag Consultant @CerberusRural. Ex 👮‍♂️. 'Pretentious posh prick'-some chap on Twitter. Should come with a warning label.

Hampshire Katılım Aralık 2016
1.9K Takip Edilen2.2K Takipçiler
Sabitlenmiş Tweet
M J
M J@ACountryChap·
Many are moving to the country. Many of those many find it hard to fit in. The actual countryside is a place where people live and work, not the large leisure park whichever crap estate agent you bought your new-build from made it out to be. Here is a handy guide to the country:
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
🤣🤣🤣
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Farley Hill, England 🇬🇧 QME
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
So the springtime question is whether to buy a hot tub or not...
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
On today's episode of 'Fat and Jobless'... #BigGingerDog
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
When your eyes are bigger than your stomach! #LittleBrownDog
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
When you want head scratchies but you're too lazy to move... #BigGingerDog
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
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Cerberus Rural
Cerberus Rural@CerberusRural·
Another very happy client...
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
Things that really irritate me No456: My new shoulder number as a police volunteer is the same 4 digits as my old shoulder number as a police officer, just in a different order. Can I ever get the new one correct? Can I fuck. If you know, you know.
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
Nothing like a late night animal dispatch call out to get the tiredness to set in...
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Chinook Crew Chick
Chinook Crew Chick@chinnychick·
Be careful with people who have HIGH FUNCTIONING DEPRESSION. Let's go through this together 👇👇 1. They get up, get dressed, go to work, and cry in silence when nobody’s watching. 2. They check on everybody else, but don’t feel safe asking for help themselves. 3. Their smile is practiced, their “I’m fine” is automatic, their breakdowns are private. 4. They appear to be okay, give solid advice, and hold everybody down, but when the world gets quiet, their thoughts get loud. 5. You think they’re okay because they’re productive, but they only stay busy to avoid feeling anything. 6. High functioning depression doesn’t look like laziness, it looks like overworking, overthinking, and never resting. 7. They keep it together in public, but fall apart in the shower, in traffic, or right before bed. 8. Just because they don’t say “I’m struggling” doesn’t mean they’re not drowning inside. 9. They apologize for being “too much” when they’ve really just been holding too much in. 10. They make everyone feel better, but go home feeling empty. So when someone says “check on your strong friends,” Do it. Because the ones who always say “I got it” are usually the ones who don’t. They suffer in silence. They laugh through pain. And they master how to function when they’re barely holding on. #endthestigma #mentalhealth #youmatter #SuicideAwareness #mentalhealthsupport
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
@BerkshireSquire Drop me a message. Always happy to help out for the sheer enjoyment.
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professor chris
professor chris@BerkshireSquire·
@ACountryChap Yeah the last keeper shafted me too I just line the ground New keeper same result My offer for this season is very very near you
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
"How strong do you like your coffee?" "Strong enough it shows up on a fucking drug test, preferably in bold, underlined and with a warning label."
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
@slinkypony66 Went rather red and looked to be on the verge of a apoplectic fit. One imagines he isn't accustomed to being spoken to in such a manner.
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
I was with a female client earlier and turned round to a gent behind us who kept trying to offer unsolicited advice to her and said "Shooting advice is similar to sex. If you haven't been asked for it or paid for it, whoever you are trying to give it to is unlikely to want it."
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
@Jackdaw2945 Every single time. 🤣 Bat it back to reaponse to deal.
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Jack@Jackdaw2945·
@ACountryChap And CID saying it’s not in their remit😂
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
Can you imagine coming in as the early turn Custody Skipper and seeing that handover paperwork? 🤣
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M J
M J@ACountryChap·
@kdog3108 @BKMuldoon Clearly defined and the consequences of a breach of PACE of that magnitude would render the arrest unlawful.
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Kdog3108
Kdog3108@kdog3108·
@ACountryChap @BKMuldoon Depends on how a custody suite is defined, and the consequences for a breach. Cushty office etc no doubt
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