ASIO

1.6K posts

ASIO

ASIO

@ASIO

The Australian Security Intelligence Organisation (ASIO) is Australia's national security service. Unlike the former, this is a joke.

Canberra, Australia Katılım Kasım 2008
4.6K Takip Edilen4.8K Takipçiler
ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
OUTCOME SUMMARY: Analysis suggests this video was taken in Bondi NSW. It is a testament - a dark harbinger - whispering from beyond the veil that whoever posted that corflute didn't read regulations governing display of political campaign material on council property.
Geoff Wilson@GeoffWilsonWAM

Is this an omen? #Election2025

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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
OUTCOME SUMMARY: You need a dictionary. As Inigo Montoya said: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it mean." Advocating for humanist policies that represent all members of our nation to ensure they get a fair go is about as occa as it gets, mate.
Lisa@Lisa9Sophia

Albanese lied. He said he wouldn’t preference The Greens, but check out the radicalised divisive racist that Albanese is preferencing! She hates Australia and Labor. She openly supports HAMAS a listed terror organization @asio are you vetting these people before they end up in Parliament? Given they have migrated here and espouse horrific views, how do we know whether or not they have been sent by a foreign power to undermine our political stability? This is what Thomas says of herself: “Hi, my name is Hannah Thomas, and I’m a lawyer, activist and writer, currently renting on unceded Gadigal land in Newtown. I moved to this country in 2009 as an international student. I know what it's like to experience racism and live in a state of visa precarity” So Australia welcomes her with open arms, gives her a visa and in return she starts calling us racists and politically agitating indigenous matters (which is frankly none of her business) and openly supporting HAMAS. Why are we letting radicalised people like this in to our country, let alone offering them visas? Why is Albanese happy to see her in Parliament?

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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
OUTCOME SUMMARY: Investigation concluded. These claims are unfounded vitriol that demonstrate both a lack of context, insufficient comprehension of fiscal policy and slight inference that you spent your childhood sticking your tongue on 9V batteries.
🇮🇪@sliejreo

@craigkellyXXX teflon, are they teflon? it's outrageous where are the goodguys in @AusFedPolice @ASIO @AustralianArmy People are going into policestations to report crimes against the people. Why are the people being ignored? this cannot continue.

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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
SECURITY ALERT: Condition Downunder declared as Coalition promise h̵a̵n̵d̵j̵o̵b̵s̵ preferences to One Nation Party candidates in marginal seats. Citizens are reminded to vote below the line - put Dutton last.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
We are aware of scammers pretending to be from #ASIO warning people about other pretenders requesting their financial details. ASIO will never warn you nor ask you to provide financial information. We already have it. Report to scamwatch.gov.au/report-a-scam @Scamwatch_gov
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
Condition Sentimental Mood declared as it's been exactly one year since you've thought about your high school crush Steven from math class. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone. Maybe.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
Condition Back Alley declared as Sesame Street criticised for post-Roe V Wade special episode - introduces new character 'Donnie The Dumpster Baby'.
ASIO tweet media
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ASIO@ASIO·
@MrTimCallanan Acknowledged Birdwatcher - chicken feed is ready. Take spare briefs for honeytrap in case of any leaks.
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Tim Callanan
Tim Callanan@MrTimCallanan·
Sparrow to nest. Message received. The golden squab flies at dawn into the east. Purple monkey. Dishwasher.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
SECURITY ALERT: Verbal analysis shows "that making decisions in the interest of people of NSW" is still technically correct if you and co-conspirators reside in the state.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
SECURITY ALERT: We wish to remind Victorians that current four hour activity windows do not extend to exercises in futility.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
SECURITY ALERT: Your brightly coloured, Dinosaur-printed face mask does nothing to hide the sadness and existential angst in your eyes. Try pairing it with festive sunglasses.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
SECURITY ALERT: We welcome the official @ASIOGovAu to Twitter. Please feel free to redirect your national security concerns away from our DMs - particularly those regarding your neighbours 'suspicious looking' cat.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
SECURITY ALERT: Investigations show that Citizens yet to watch Game Of Thrones should avoid Tracey from Accounting. Her lack of consideration is only amplified by her nasal retelling of episode highlights.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
Condition LimpBizkitFan_69 declared as injunction lodged for new PlayStation account name change feature - will hamper our profiling ability to find that LiveJournal account you forgot existed.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
SECURITY ALERT: Condition Smashed Avo declared as @JoshFrydenberg blames millennials for prize winning quails no longer laying eggs.
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ASIO
ASIO@ASIO·
Recommends that @triplej shift the focus of their conversation. Maybe talk up that latest mobile game that we are totally not using to spy on you.
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Keşfet

@MrTimCallanan @ASIOGovAu @AngusGrigg @JoshFrydenberg @DemiLardner @e_maltseva @elonmusk @BarackObama