gigi

The type of fit i’d pull up in at the Met Gala

No way is Enron in heaven

My Onix was knocked out and now I'm on my way to the Pokemon center

GENUINELY, WHAT IS BRO’S PROBLEM!!!

@AtnsXBT Incredible take

professor oak is being built different, he maybe holds a focus band

I was pulled over by a Police Officer. He looked at my license and said "you're supposed to be wearing glasses". I said I have contacts. He said he didn't care who I know

spirit deadass shutdown while we was in midair we had to jump out the plane like fortnite

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

me as i read 40% of what claude wrote back and type in “continue”

kangaskhan surfing

she’s a 10 but has a fish head and no cannons

The fact that this dude wrote extremely graphic erotica about a successful female coworker and called his wife flat and a racist slur while doing it kind of puts him in the incel hall of fame

Ah yes, this is the simplest solution to the American school shooting problem.

fuck you

“And… and… *sniff* .. she took out her massive cannons .. and told me to suck her toes instead of my fish face wife’s”

Getting called to the managers office at JP Morgan

You can’t run your mac and cheese fraud up to five figures. That’s a four figures scheme max, anything more is greedy.

FREE THIS MAN

(me after accidentally deleting everything) "yeah dude i dont know what happened, claude just like, went rogue"

The plan?