Ace Armstrong

I've had enough of this cess pool of right-wing disinformation and am joining the exodus. Just so you know where to find me, I'll be at the usual places people go when they leave here: the elephant one, the sky one, and the meta one. @AceSmellsFunny

@ThomasLarryBra2 @JamesTate121 Ummm....sounds like you went to Trump University Law School. Once you are convicted, you are convicted. The sentencing just metes out the punishment. But what do I know? I only practiced criminal defense law for 15 years.

Convicted Felon Donald Trump is not allowed to leave the country to meet PM Trudeau. That is the headline.

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful that I'm not a turkey. Happy Thanksgiving! #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful that I'm not a T Rex...because my balls itch. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. I am thankful today for that one weird trick that makes women send you nudes. I just wish I knew what it was. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today I am thankful for my mobile phone because I can post this while pooping. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Having used a public restroom, today I am thankful to be male. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. I am thankful today that I don't have that "not so fresh feeling." #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for Jack Shit. I don't know the man, but everyone seems to think I should. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for my wife because she is beautiful and smart and sexy. Also, I shouldn't leave my phone unattended. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for the internet, because I can offend millions of people at a time, instead of doing it one-at-a-time, door-to-door like I used to. #ThankfulNovember

Taking bets now on what cabinet positions Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity will get.

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for the double entendre...because it's way harder than the single entendre. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today I am thankful for swear words, without which I would have nothing to say while doing home improvement projects. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for my Bluetooth earbuds so I can look like a crazy homeless guy while talking to my wife about the groceries. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. I really like the meatballs at Ikea, so today I am thankful for horses. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful to be a mammal. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful to coffee for preventing me from going on multiple killing sprees. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Tomorrow, I was thankful for time travel. #ThankfulNovember

It's November, the month where I remind myself every day of something I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful for sexual reproduction, because let's face it: amoeba porn would be pretty boring. #ThankfulNovember