just alan.

In the past two weeks I've seen eight proposals, three weddings and six baby announcements. Meanwhile my cat and I had dinner together today

Forget the Super Bowl. Televise the two worst teams of the NFL and have Weird Al as the halftime show.

Dudes of Twitter, when do you wash your hands when using a public restroom?(Restaurant/Concert Avenue/home/etc.) No judgement, just trying to make a point

@snapchatsupport has by far the worst support team for any social media app. Change my mind.

White people dancing consist of three moves and you cannot change my mind: 1. Step touch with Charlie Brown accents 2. Train of drunk people are the event floor 3. Cotton Eyed Joe

@ascheer90 You’re doing AMAZING!! You have and continue to accomplish so much, and I’m so happy to say I know you and call you a friend!

@AlanHighe Slow and steady! Just gotta keep building (and sitting with the right people at the right time)

National TV debut for the brand 😎

Made the mistake of listening to sea shanties again… thank god Halloween is right around the corner

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 11 years, since 7 Sep 2011 (via @twi_age).

devastating news for people who can only name three musicals

@ascheer90 This is a dangerous partnership and you know it as well as I do

@AlanHighe I’ll help write any music you need me to help write as well.

@ascheer90 be my musical director for drunk musicals. Please. I have so many ideas

This is my favorite song from Aladdin

I so badly want to direct Mary Poppins. So.... Who is free post August 5th and wants to make this dream a reality? Even as a staged reading, lets make it happen

one of the funniest deleted tweets of all time

@fightclubvhs Consider this tweet your official invite. I’ve got dibs on Mozart though

@AlanHighe Send me the invite

I would like to host a dinner party, where we all get super sloshed but every guest has to prepare a “Drunk History” sort of presentation that hasn’t been presented on the show

I’m sorry, did you just say the Joker sequel is going to be a MUSICAL?

@BoogApproved Didn’t even have to click on the video to know I’d be disappointed 😂

@BlazePizza It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes. But not everyone makes pizzas. This is why you’re the champ

LOL okay I messed up on that last tweet so I'm gonna give out some free pizzas to u guys - non haters only

@fightclubvhs I would say when I first met you I was intimidated by you, but it quickly faded!

Had, like, a weirdly enlightening conversation today, so odd question, but if you know me irl, have you ever been, like, intimidated by me?