Alan Partridge

@thismorning Right here, ladies.

ALAN, WHERE ARE YOU?! #WheresAlan

Hello Susan. I was a bit bored so I dismantled my Corby trouser press. I can't put it back together again.Will that show up on my bill?#alanpartridgequotes

Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday,doesn't it? #alanpartridgequotes

I'm going nowhere Lynn. Quite literally, I'm on the ring road. Third time round. #alanpartridgequotes

It's hotter than The Sun! #alanpartridgequotes

After the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you're clean-handed. #thistimewithAlanPartridge

Lynns a good worker, but I suppose she's a bit like Burt Reynolds. Very reliable but she's got a moustache. #alanpartridgequotes

Don't rub your fanny on me! #alanpartridgequotes

@roblewi5 Lovely stuff.

@AlanPartridge2 Titchmarsh. Trim some bushes.

Tonight we're think-abouting which celebrity you would like to spend the bank holiday with. And what would you do? #alanpartridgequotes

Stop laughing, Lynn! You're laughing at weather. You're like your mother in her last few weeks. #alanpartridgequotes

Pack it in mate,I don't want to have sex with your wife.Even though by the promotional video I can see I'd have a ruddy good time#alanquotes

Don't rub your fanny on me! #AlanPartridge

Fernando, you’re 22 years old and you’re spending your Saturday afternoon in bed with a girl, you’re wasting your life. #alanpartridgequotes

I'm going nowhere Lynn. Quite literally,I'm on the ring road. Third time round. #alanpartridgequotes

Occasionally I doth venture South. And when I do,I've got to say,it's like a breath of fresh air. #AlanPartridgeQuotes

Tomorrow night!!! @SentinelStaffs @BBCRadioStoke @gr8musicvenues @AlanPartridge2

Chris Martin of @coldplay is a secret Alan Partridge fan. Who'd have thought.

Never did I think when I was 18 that one day I'd have an app on my phone that told me what bin to put out the next day...#rocknroll