Alex fish

It was hard to dislike our opponents last night. On Wednesday however….

250 years, and your empire has been reduced to a single island the size of Michigan, with a GDP barely higher than Mississippi, the poorest of our fifty states. Enjoy your warm beer in that unairconditioned old pub. Don’t talk too much shit online though, you might get arrested.

A 16 year old driving a Volvo made me roll down my window in traffic to tell me “I would realistically gap your shit, bitch”

My landlord is two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon

🚨 JUST IN: Stephen Miller lays it out PERFECTLY Imagine a "native Minnesotan who works as a lineman...worried about his ability to support for and provide his family." "And then imagine that he has a neighbor who's a SOMALI REFUGEE who arrived two years ago and has a Mercedes and NO financial stress and no worries at all in the entire world and never seems to ever go to work at all because he just went to an office in the state, lied on a piece of paper, and got unlimited free money forever for life!" "THAT is the system that is being run and that is the corruption that this task force under the leadership of the Vice President is going to demolish." @StephenM

Ordering DoorDash today feels like a war crime

BREAKING: Kyler Murray is signing a one-year deal with Minnesota, per @TomPelissero & @RapSheet 🚨 New QB1 for the Vikings?! 👀

He knows his family isn’t watching because they don’t appreciate him

A two income household is literally the best so whatever you do in this life make sure your wife has two jobs

No beer is illegal in a stolen car

This is the craziest most accurate AI video I have ever seen.... x.com/icantevenfilms…

Still can’t believe they paywalled the mini-crossword

Abbey Murphy flips the puck into the air, knocks it between the defender’s legs, and sets up Bella Fanale for the goal. Among the nastiest assists I’ve ever seen. Murphy is headed to the Olympics with Team USA next month

This edit justifies your tweet 😭😂

Wolves fan emotional about free chicken

The Vikings bringing out Nine to start again next week

This is an insane caption

@InternetH0F My fat ass was eating two footlongs back in the day