Alice

2.8K posts

Alice

Alice

@AlitasAlice

Love to dance and travel the world. https://t.co/szxmnk8mt6

Katılım Şubat 2012
1.6K Takip Edilen1K Takipçiler
Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
Get unlimited Youtube Likes, Youtube Subscribers for FREE bit.ly/10KsOvE
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
Ikea is such a well-run store, they really cross their t's and dot their a's.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
The last time I tried aromatherapy, I was caught in the elevator with a bunch of uncles.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
Check out my new article in Cosmo, "1,001 Ways To Get Someone Un-Pregnant"!
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
"You're so lazy." "No, I'm not. I've been converting oxygen into... carbon dioxide all day."
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
It was the least I could do. I always do the least I can do.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
Responsible. Who wants to be responsible? Whenever anything bad happens, it's always "Who's responsible for this?"
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
So, I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out, and I was all like, OMg.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
If you finish a comeback with 'Bitch', it instantly becomes 1000x more powerful.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
Blind people are so lucky, I wish the government gave me free white-tipped rat ticklers.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
I hate that awkward outcast feeling when your friend meets up with a group of people you never met.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
I'd be more optimistic if I thought it would help.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
I lost sixty pounds in two seconds with diet and exercise and Photoshop!
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
Would I lie to you?... Again, I mean.
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
I can't wait until Kagan comes out with her brand of designer bagels, "Kegels".
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
I don't get why they call it a "test" when Rorschach just painted my mom as a Jew-spider over and over again...
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Alice
Alice@AlitasAlice·
Who you calling "Native Americans"?! We prefer "Native American-Americans."
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