Alyssa Grimes

Caitlyn Jenner is a person, not an it or a thing and most certainly not a disgrace to women, men, or the progression of civil rights.

If you have vinyl decals depicting your family on the back of your vehicle, I don't want to get to know you as a person.

@MattCorby I don't know of another musician that has more perfectly captured my soul. What a connection music can make between people.

Sneeze twice and you're beans and rice.

@BranhamSkipper I am dissatisfied.

@BranhamSkipper If you are the Kevin Costner of your friends, what does that make me?

Ever been told youre cute while youre in sweatpants and scratching your ear with a log of cookie dough? It's an awkward moment for everyone.

@BranhamSkipper youtu.be/wn9lXlG5OLs oh my gey

No one should ever eat beef jerky with a yoohoo. Ever.

Best friend dinner #goodfood #goodcompany #wesocute #wouldyoulookatthat #isntthatneat instagram.com/p/n1m0AQGNNT/

Bedtime stories of #backinthedaywheniwasacarrot

Cheers to dairy farmers of northwest Florida and trapezoidal biscuits!

@BranhamSkipper that's tight butthole.

I don't even know where your koolaid pot is. @BranhamSkipper

Zippity Zoppity BILL COSBY!! An early Christmas present from the parentals. Possibly the greatest gift… instagram.com/p/iFKOtXGNN2/

Getting real f*cking tired of having to put on pants everyday.

I won't make it to the next century. 😳😁😢

She has a life box!

Yo yo! You wanna join the Lyle High Club?