andrew

y=mx+b jokes are great but at some point we'll have to draw the line

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on

@rissaoffline love the Canadian spelling of have

Sometimes I forgot im gay and then I see a woman who looks like Anne Hathaway and then its like . I think I hauve covid

@MissyXMartinez I hate this fucking app

How iCloud works in my mind

@merestromb From Canada? Yes you are

@AndrewsNotFunny Banned

Unfortunately I am completely powerless to cool outerwear so I must relocate to a chillier area

@goddammitsarah no

people are so irrationally, unbelievably mad at the dodgers (a team I have no stake in) that it is making me like them

walking around with a woman who’s hotter than u rules. everyone looks at u like ur a dog dragging a giant tree branch. like aww he’s having fun. but he definitely can’t take that home

@kelly_scraps hear

The United States drawn entirely from memory

it's wrong to make 9/11 jokes. plane and simple

me: what's a double entendre her: it means two things me: ok what's one of them

history: itself. itself. itself. itself. itself. itself. itself. itself. itself.

@MissyXMartinez @ronnui_ My son Blu-ray

@ronnui_ Same, but with my daughter Laser Disc,

It is shocking how quickly we move on from things that promised to be a core utility of our future society. I really regret naming my son Blockchain.

@2Saddington @dmcf64 I live in Ontario and I would like to ask: what. in. tarnation

@dmcf64 @AndrewsNotFunny Oh Jesus I stand corrected

Finally going to the Minnesota State Fair for the first time in 6 years and they are not fucking around !!!

@2Saddington I still have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at

@AndrewsNotFunny The average Canadian mind cannot comprehend

@bocxtop last time I lend you my thesaurus

verily i do fw u

@CaitCamelia @NILES100 *sigh*

@HenpeckedHal can't believe I made it to 30 years of age under these conditions

@AndrewsNotFunny You need to be rounded up

My work rival knows that my 3 year old is more independent than his 3 year old. And he knows that my 3 year old is faster than his 3 year old. And he knows that my 3 year old has a bigger vocabulary than his 3 year old. But what he doesn't know is that my 3 year old is 4.

@hootietheeowl some would argue I never left, you can blame @rissaoffline tho

@AndrewsNotFunny Since when are you back to twitter omfg

Poo from a bum poop from a butt shit from an ass