Andy Krueger

Me: The dolphins are 0-6 this year. Aiden: Jeez they're dominating! Me: Wins is first so they haven't won a game yet. Aiden: Oh they really suck then

Rylee was playing with a puzzle and says "this is fucked up. I dont wanna play this anymore"

Rylee takes Aidens ninja turtle towel after getting out of the bath. Aiden says "you know I rubbed my wiener with that"

I just said hi to a little boy who's probably about a year and a half old. He started bawling. I didnt think I was that scary. Little kids sure know how to make a person feel like shit 😭

Guess I need to be more specific about what I type in to YouTube when Rylee wants to watch "baby" videos so she doesnt end up watching baby birth videos. That's disgusting she says as shes showing Aiden🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

@lex_jayde5 Anytime 😊🤣

Tequila is not your friend. He’s a douche and shouldn’t come around 🤢

Rylee: Aiden if you argue with me I'll put soap in your eyes 🤣🤣🤣

Rylee comes inside from jumping on the trampoline "theres a fucking spider on the tramp"

Drew and Aiden talking about when I whipped him with a towel. Drew: Did you cry? Aiden: Yes Drew: Pussy

Me: Are you done with your pudding? Rylee: Yes cuz it tastes like shit

Drew: My belly button is an innie. Isaac: I bet your butthole is an outie 🤦‍♂️

Isaac: I guarantee I could outmasterbate you bud. Mark: I doubt it 🤣

Siri: Who do you want to call? Tyler: Mark! @markpod93

@megg_krueger I get one of these special Megan concerts anytime we go anywhere and let me tell ya, they're pretty great🤣

This Lyft driver just got front row tickets to a Megan concert singing to Luke combs.

Rylee starts screaming for me into her room tonight to tell me that her teeth are falling out because shes grinding her teeth. I tell her not to do that cuz it will hurt her teeth. She says but they dont hurt and lays back down and says shes ready to go back to bed

So were playing beer darts. Megan's moms beer gets hit at the bottom. What does she do? Flips it over 🤦‍♂️😂