Andy Cave

North Korea has nuclear weapons capable of reaching the United States North Korea is a fascist regime North Korea is ruled by a brutal dictator Christians are arrested and executed What’s different from Iran you ask? Oil Oil is the difference

@Milajoy Someone please satirize this. When a reporter delights in their access, rather than the actual content of the call, sirens should sound. @johnathankarl if you want to use this access properly, please ask some proper questions. Eg: Do you have any regard for international law?

Johnathan Karl from ABC News says Trump is the only President ever that answers calls from reporters.

The branch of Boots on Great Portland Street has just told me that I should have someone with me when I come out as a blind person. When I objected to them telling me howl to lead my life, they said it was for my own good. Unbelievable. Last time I go in there #boots

@Muppetiers Nine games? He has only had seven.

Couldn't ask for more from coming in midseason. The issues we have performance wise are the same personnel issues we've had all year, and he's managing to still have us there, defensively tight, and in position to win every game. Big improvement.

“War is a place where young men who don’t know each other and don’t hate each other kill each other, decided by old men who know each other and hate each other, but don’t kill each other.” - Erich Hartmann

Nicked from another page. Nice to know the MOD has a sense of humour… Never Mess with Officialdom! Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long career. He received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and the tax-free ‘lump sum’ award, based upon his years of service, that he would receive in addition to his pension. The letter read: "Dear Lt. Colonel Maclaren, We write to confirm that you retired from the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards on 1st March 2001 at the rank of Lt Colonel, having been commissioned into the British Army at Edinburgh Castle as a 2nd Lieutenant on 1st February 1366. Accordingly your lump sum payment, based on years served, has been calculated as £68,500. You will receive a cheque for this amount in due course. Yours sincerely Army Paymaster” Lt Colonel Maclaren replied; “Dear Paymaster, Thank you for your recent letter confirming that I served as an officer in the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards between 1st February 1366 and 1st March 2001 – a total period of 635 years and 1 month. I note however that you have calculated my lump sum to be £68,500, which seems to be considerably less than it should be bearing in mind my length of service since I received my commission from King Edward III. By my calculation, allowing for interest payments and currency fluctuations, my lump sum should actually be £6, 427, 586, 619. 47p. I look forward to receiving a cheque for this amount in due course. Yours sincerely, Robert Maclaren (Lt Col Retd)” A month passed by and a stout manilla envelope from the Ministry of Defence arrived, it read: “Dear Lt Colonel Maclaren, We have reviewed the circumstances of your case as outlined in your recent letter to us dated 8th March inst. We do indeed confirm that you were commissioned into the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards by King Edward III at Edinburgh Castle on 1st February 1366, and that you served continuously for the following 635 years and 1 month. We have re-calculated your pension and have pleasure in confirming that the lump sum payment due to you is indeed £6, 427, 586, 619. 47p. However, we also note that according to our records you are the only surviving officer who had command responsibility during the following campaigns and battles; The Wars of the Roses 1455 -1485 The Civil War 1642 -1651 The Napoleonic War 1803 – 1815 The Crimean War (1853 – 1856) The Boer War (1899 -1902) World War One (1914-1918). We would therefore wish to know what happened to the following, which do not appear to have been returned to Quartermaster's Stores by you on completion of operations: 9765 Cannons 26,785 Swords 12,889 Pikes 127,345 Rifles (with bayonets) 28,987 horses (fully kitted) Plus three complete marching bands with instruments and banners. We have calculated the total cost of these items, allowing for interest payments and currency fluctuations, and they amount to £6,427,518.119.47p. We have therefore subtracted this sum from your lump sum, leaving a residual amount of £68,500, for which you will receive a cheque in due course. Yours sincerely . . . .” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Red faces as New York Post admits the US Department of Justice has NOT accused Qatari sheikh of 2022 World Cup bribery and corruption. Nor has a think tank branded him the “thief of Doha”. nypost.com/2025/05/15/bus…

@nytimes Is this the first major US Epstein resignation?

Breaking News: Larry Summers will resign from teaching at Harvard as the university reviews his ties to Jeffrey Epstein. nyti.ms/46Wbgpo

@steve_hawkes What is it with licensing laws? Why can’t pubs just open when they want? In all honesty, how many pubs are going to open at all hours? Just let the pubs decide.

Keep up at the back …

@TheOxfordMail What is an illegal e-bike? Asking for a friend.

Delivery driver arrested for Class A drugs with Nando's order in Oxford ift.tt/WD8qKQ1

@UtdXclusive Carrick is doing brilliantly but, with someone like Holland around him, Ole would also have had a great start. He was badly treated. I would love to see him back at the club again.

🚨 NEW: The media backlash against Ole Gunnar Solskjaer hurt his chances for the Manchester United interim head coach role - there was lots of talk calling it a backward step, saying he'd already had his chance and it hadn't worked, and the club shouldn't go back. That reaction may have swayed the club's thinking away from him. Plus, they weren't happy with what was leaking publicly from Solskjaer's side, seeing it as lobbying that irritated them. The club were very impressed with how Michael Carrick handled things: he stayed quiet and private, spoke directly to them, and made his case professionally, which they really valued. [@ChrisWheelerDM, @UnitedStandMUFC]

@emilylawford @NewStatesman Can’t get past paywall to read this but do you say that the station announcement is in Chinese? Or that coach tours of Chinese tourists from London were until recently dropping them off to gape at and photograph very ordinary semis and bungalows as places where real Brits live?

I went to Bicester Village for the @NewStatesman

@petersands55 Paula Gill and I got 22

It's Friday, so time for the newsquiz. As usual there are 25 questions about the week's news. Why not give it a go and let me know your score. sandsmediaservices.blogspot.com/2026/02/its-ti… #newspapers

@UnitedInFocus How is the league title race over for the MUFC u18s?

What a game!🤩 unitedinfocus.com/news/man-utd-u… #MUFC #PremierLeague #Football

@PimlicoPlumbers Any news please? I paid for one hour’s plumbing, received a ten minute visit and still have no heating or hot water. When I rang, you said the plumber was “writing up his report”. It still has not arrived.

@PimlicoPlumbers I called you at 11.30am. You said you would be there at 2pm. Your man arrived 4pm, left after 10 mins and said he would send a report of recommendations. It’s now 9.15pm, he has still not sent them and we still have no heating or hot water #poorservice

@PimlicoPlumbers But you didn’t. Your man was two hours late, didn’t fix anything and said he would send recommendations. He still has not done so, ten hours after I called you. We still have no heating or hot water #poorservice

No hot water? No problem. We can get a qualified heating engineer to you the same day. Book now pimlicoplumbers.com/services/emerg… Problem solved. #PimlicoPlumbers #ProblemSolved #NoHotWater

Someone saved all of the Epstein emails from the releases and set up a Gmail clone site that you can scroll as if you were in Jeffery's Gmail. You can search by contacts, photos and even flight history. 👉 jmail.world

A correction for the ages (from The Guardian's review of 'Melania'):