Cleavage&Coffee

My case of the Mondays has gone septic

How do you know you work in corporate America? I just texted my husband “rounding back to confirm I put beer in the fridge”

@Tipocazzuto I thought that was where the assortment of napkins was supposed to be stored..

Call me crazy, but I’ve never put gloves in the glove box in any of my cars..

My hairdresser just told me she went to a hen party. Instead of a pub crawl they went on a bookshop crawl where they all had to buy a book at each bookshop! 🤯❤️📚

If eating takis at 5:30 in the morning is wrong… well that’s probably fair but I’m doing it anyway.

BREAKING: New study confirms that the #1 cause of high blood pressure in Americans is now *gestures everywhere* ALL THIS SHIT.

“Why do you read so much?” It’s either that or have a mental breakdown, Linda.

Jokes on you, world.. You don’t need to push more protein on me, I’m already hefty.

your email finds me dragging myself across the cold tile flooring

Verizon: “your bill is ready” Me: that makes one of us.

leaving the house with a book ALWAYS. very important!

Girls be like, ‘This is self‑care,’ and it’s literally reading in bed all day with a mug of coffee glued to their hand.

She never increases the price of her subscription.

Remember when women would get sent away for rest and reflection due to “acting hysterical”? Let’s bring back being dramatic ladies, I have a seaside vacation calling my name.

is that simple task bothering you queen

I want financial compensation for the emotional and mental warfare Microsoft plays on me.

Golden Retriever wearing a hat went viral devouring a full hot dog at the ballpark. Dude was in heaven

“WOMEN BELONG IN THE KITCHEN” Oh, honey, do not keep me where the knives are.

What doesn’t kill you gives you cortisol spike, weight gain and hair loss.

*becomes a librarian for the shushing*