Audrey “the language girl” Tobyas

Things I say to opposing counsel: “if you weren’t my adversary, I’d say you’re a real tourmaline Mark.” 💎

Petition to be reimbursed for tuition for each class where a Prof discusses the fact that good lawyers don’t ignore feelings. Petitioner also seeks compensatory damages for the emotional strain of sitting through these classes, but having already learned that feelings matter

Me, at work, practicing what I’m going to tell the Judge: “Your Honor, we’re here today because the Respondent filed a-” *checks notes* “motion to clarify?”

Decided to decline my $20,000 loan forgiveness. Grind never stops. I wish Biden would ADD $20,000 to my debt just so I can grind even HARDER

People today: It’s absolutely unconscionable that law enforcement can behave so invasively towards the lives and property of private citizens! Me: AMEN, and as a public defender the things my clients suffer on a— People today: wait no not those private citizens

I could never work in Big Law. Today, we had a hearing on a motion to dismiss. The motion was longer than my law review article. I could never

Anyways, that being said, currently thinking about an article that discusses the Court as a social construct that governs social function and sets powerful standards for social norms/deviance. Thus, the Court always performs its function, even when it betrays stare decisis.

If I had a theme song, it would be “girl, stop thinking of interdisciplinary ideas for articles. While it’s well without the scope of your ambition, it’s far beyond the scope of your time, mental fortitude, and emotional bandwidth.”

@MaybellRomero @brianlfrye The fact that y’all co-wrote a paper together is irrefutable proof of your love 🥺 what an intensely vulnerable experience to navigate with a fellow academic, and to still be smitten after it was written #goals

Yup! There are also absurd waiting periods in many states. @brianlfrye and I argue that these limitations are unconstitutional here in "The Right to Unmarry": papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cf…

I, like any self-respecting linguist, am anti-prescriptivism, but WOW what a fantastic lack of a comma. Arlo and Emma are in a polygamous marriage to a financial institution. Real Estate just got WAY more interesting

@evanbernick Live footage of me reading this sentence

@_Cup0fJo_ Let’s let my client speak for himself, this is probably a classic case of “good boi gone wrong”

@the2LWonder Convict dog. Did a nickel in the dog house for agg assault

Beans has been sentenced to prison time for assault

Favorite part of being a Lead Articles Editor: reading people’s articles every week. Gosh there’s a lot of smart people out there with some really neat ideas #lawreview #LawSchool

Boss raises eyebrows like *wow can’t believe she caught this minuscule error on page 22* and says “yup put it in” and I drink more coffee, add things in, and feel perfectly content knowing I’m gonna do it again next week

Ok I’m just gonna say it: I love “boring” attorney work. I’ve been drafting a master template for a marriage settlement agreement all day and this is the life. I drink my coffee, I eat my tacos, I clickety-clack on my keyboard and I ask my boss “wanna add this in?”

Today I met with my faculty advisor to talk about my law review article and he nodded and said “this is actually novel and it offers something valuable to the discussion. This is worth publishing now”

Avatar the last Airbender, but Contracts: Offer🔥Acceptance💧Consideration🪨 Performance 🌬 Long ago, the elements lived in harmony. Then everything changed when Breach arrived. #contracts #lawschool

Fridays at work are always the most fun cause it’s like spinning a wheel to see what excitement awaits. Pre-trial conference? Senior partner making a tik-tok? One of the attorneys stress-baked and we’ll have pastry all day? Who knows!

Law schools: In theory this is how it all should work. Me: What about in practice? Law schools: In what?