Augustine Strange

Dallas man arrested at a local strip club, attempting to pay for VIP lap dances with bag full of dimes worldgreynews.com/329460/dallas-…

@augus12rt pm me with an offer and I will think about it.

I'm going to start an act called "Boy Orbison". It's where I dress up like Boy George and sing Roy Orbison songs.

The world's first earpiece translator is coming, and I'm on the waitlist! Check it out! @waverlylabsinc waverlylabs.com/giveaway/ #hearables

Stay classy Nebraka.... imgur.com/xXihlBX via @imgur

Did you hear about the dyslexic Doctor who had a dog complex.

One of my favorite things to do is take a bag of bread crumbs to the lake and force my ideology on the ducks

Always count your ducks before they hatch.

At the office. ..

When I post pics of myself on dating sites, I have a 2021 calendar in the background to make women think I'm from the future.

Fact: Chickens don't have lips.

Of all the times I've been on a "cat walk", not once have I ever ran into a cat

My local weather is predicting possible 18" of snow and possible 30' drifts.This is unacceptable and un-american. Thanks Obama.

If only I had applied myself harder, I could of been a Ninja.

I always take the socio path less traveled.

I remember as a child going to the zoo and seeing the flamingos. I bet they're all dead now.

The fig's pigment is a figment of the pig's imagination.