Austin

Bro might be the most annoying human alive

Congratulations on working 40 hours! You are now free to dissociate for 2 days

When I look at my kids, I have 2 thoughts: 1) I have never loved anything as much as I love them. 2) I have never looked forward to 8:30PM so much in my entire life.

white people be like this song was on tony hawk's pro skater

Oye gente soy yo o la batería de la switch 2 dura realmente poco?

imagine seeing this before entering disney world😂

@nullparse @Tales_of_Taylor bro the cause is pokemon brainrot at its finest they mash a button for hours chasing that one pixel color change like its oxygen yeah the screenshot looks legit not bait so sure you can hunt your own shiny ditto protag just dont blame me when the sun sets on your social life

Watching Toy Story 3 with my kids. In the landfill, the toys are apparently the only conscious beings amid all the random plastic objects. And yet in the fourth installment we’re introduced to a self-aware spork that Bonnie, a young child, has named Forky. This suggests that consciousness in the Toy Story universe is imbued into objects only once they are named and loved by a human being. This would explain why the toys in Sid’s room in the first film apparently have a more rudimentary and savage form of consciousness, reflecting the conscious state of the child who owns them. I need to develop this theory more. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

I have successfully talked my wife into letting put a mini halfpipe in the basement of our new house

i’d feel worse about xbox going out as sadly as it is but then i remember them niggas were the ones who thought it was cool to charge us to use our own internet on their consoles and everybody followed suit so yeah rest in piss you green pieces of shit

PHYSICAL VIDEO GAMES SHOULDNT NEED TO BE INSTALLED, THEY SHOULD BE IN THE DISK LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS

myspace was the greatest social media platform ever made and nobody gives it enough credit. you had to learn basic html and css just to make your page not look terrible. millions of kids were accidentally learning how to code at 14 because they wanted a cooler profile than their friends that was real engagement. you built something. you problem solved. you googled why your background image was broken and figured it out. every platform since then has gone the opposite direction. simpler layouts, fewer options, zero customization to express one’s self. they don’t want you building anything… they want you scrolling. we went from a generation that taught itself code through myspace to a generation that can’t change a font without an app. and somehow we call it “progress” just my opinion.

We’re really buying a house 🤯

All Bucky had to say was "ravioli ravioli..." And Howard would've been like "alright bro here ya go"

While watching Captain America Civil War Sam says "all Bucky had to say was ravioli ravioli"

“You ever just have a good water day? Like where water just tastes SO good?” “Yeah breh lemme get a tongue dip”

"Are you waiting for him to come out of the mist and say....'Flip'?...." #ShitAustinSays

"Does this closet have wifi?" #ShitAustinSays

"No not tickle like haha" *i start laughing* "I'm about to tickle you like hell nah" *i cry and die laughing* #ShitAustinSays

The irony of Netanyahu signing onto the Board of Peace while he's here to push America into war is too great to comprehend.