Austin Parker

Have a game, Jonah Heim.

So friends can’t fuck in Sedona anymore. Got it. Thought this was America. I’m pissed.

@NFLDraft @AtlantaFalcons @GeorgiaFootball TWEET ALL OF THE PICKS. YOU’RE THE FUCKING OFFICIAL NFL DRAFT ACCOUNT. Jesus goddamn Christ dude.

Round 3, Pick 79: @AtlantaFalcons select @GeorgiaFootball WR Zachariah Branch! #NFLDraft nfl.com/prospects/zach…

Every year the @NFLDraft account flat out refuses to tweet every draft pick and just tweets out every 4 picks or so. Why? Why are you ruining our lives? You have literally one job.

Congrats to the Mets on their 12 game losing streak.

Things you can get in a dozen: - Eggs - Roses - Mets losses

Come put on the pads, Skip

LMAOOOOOO

@Rockies @rbooks07 👀👀👀

Spotted: The Glizzilla 😈

@Braves @IngramRadio Ben Ingram is the fucking man.

Tell 'em, @IngramRadio!

162-0 IS STILL IN PLAY

boys are so easy they just want to be asked what their walkout song would be if they were a closer

@JakeMarsh18 Go Vols, Jake!!

Iowa State is in the double bonus at the midway point of the 2nd half but it literally doesn't matter because the Cyclones can't make their free throws.

lmao

LET’S GO GET EM #GBO

Tiger Woods to his car keys after a few drinks

Good morning to all who celebrate