Awful Jokes

5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rape. #statisticaljoke

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

A man walks in to a bar... He is an alcoholic an slowly ruining his family.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Quickest way to the underworld? A rope and a footstool. #TheFrogs

What's do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

What's better then winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Average penis size: 5.5 inches Average penis size of guys that google "average penis size": 3.5 inches

So a guy comes into a bar... o wait, no it was a horse. So this guy cums into a horse.

Holiday Traveling: time to get my sweatpants and Viagra ready for my buddies at the TSA and their new security checks

Watching My Sisters Keeper- me - "I need a tissue" guy - "are you going to cry?" me - "no she's just really hot"

This tear-free shampoo works great, but I still really miss my parents

I robbed a bank because I wanted to be rich, now I just need to find someone to buy all this sperm.

I really like the word frequently, I try an use it as often as I can

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "where's my tractor?"

I'm the kind of person that laughs at their mistakes. It makes it really hard to spend time with my kids

My lesbian neighbors gave me a rolex for my birthday. Nice but I think they misunderstood me saying "I wanna watch"

I wonder if fish vaginas sometimes smell like human?

I came out of the closet to my parents last night, scared the shit outta them

I just finished reading a book about podiatry. The footnotes were incredible