Teni

3.3K posts

Teni

Teni

@Awulateni

God; Writer; Sweetfriendforlife; GGMU; Dogs😍 Opinions expressed are solely my own

Katılım Kasım 2011
273 Takip Edilen294 Takipçiler
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Bruno Fernandes
Bruno Fernandes@B_Fernandes8·
Gr𝟴teful, Hon𝟮𝟬red, Proud. 𝗪𝗘 did it! ❤️
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Manchester United
20 Premier League assists.
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Manchester United
BRUNO FERNANDES EQUALS THE PREMIER LEAGUE ASSIST RECORD.
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AJ
AJ@aman_deee·
the way the month is going dierr the rice at home is tasting delicious
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Premier League
Premier League@premierleague·
Champions League qualification secured for 2026/27 🏆 Congratulations, @ManUtd 🔴
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Manchester United
Manchester United@ManUtd·
PICTURE PERFECT! 📸
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OjieMusic
OjieMusic@TweetOjie·
There’s a phase you get to in life life, all those hymns you sang in your childhood as mere songs , starts making total sense Because what a friend we really have in Jesus ?
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Manchester United
Manchester United@ManUtd·
Have a good week, Reds! 😊
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Bruno Fernandes
Bruno Fernandes@B_Fernandes8·
keep the wave going.
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c h r i s
c h r i s@christhio·
@her_eloquence 200 pages of fiction: devoured in one sitting with snacks and zero regrets. 200 pages of academic text: page 1 still undefeated, brain fried by page 3, and I’m questioning my life choices 😭 Fiction flows. Academic punishes.
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EZ Rider🌻🇺🇸🦅
EZ Rider🌻🇺🇸🦅@EZRideryoyall·
I’m not an expert on bad first dates, but this might be the funniest 😂 Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter, snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte !! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment..... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.' Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show. 😂
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Ethan Brooks
Ethan Brooks@alt_w_v_g·
I post a lot about the people I shadow Never posted about someone who shadows me He's there every morning before I log on Every late night when I'm the last one in the building He doesn't cc leadership when I mess up Just quietly covers the balance Every quarter I've come up short, he absorbs the liability himself Never once asked for anything in return So I finally looked at the terms The buyer acquired 100% of the liability The seller brought nothing to the table And the buyer still closed Unconditional Turns out he signed it before I even knew there was a deal My analyst tried to model the return Said it doesn't work on a spreadsheet Said the whole thesis is based on something he can't quantify Told him welcome to the deal Happy Easter
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INFOSEC F0X 🔥
INFOSEC F0X 🔥@infosec_fox·
OneDrive: “your file is saved” Me: “oh cool where is it?” Onedrive: “where’s what?”
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Miss Ally
Miss Ally@MissAlly_01·
To stop ants coming in to your house leave a saucer of milk outside. The adult ants drink it & it has an effect on ant reproduction. The young are born without toes so they can't climb in to your cavity walls. This effect is called lack toes in toddler ants.
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achieve by Petra | Investment & Financial Planning
𝗦𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘁! 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲? Don’t just spend it, grow it! With achieve by Petra, turning your salary into smart investments is easier than ever. Download the achieve by Petra app today and start your investment journey
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