Ryan Chapman

Everyone hates going to see the Dentist. Must be tough for them...doesn't anyone think about their fillings?

My date: What do you do for work? Me: I drill holes in metal and then connect two pieces with a special sort of pin. My date: Wow. That's riveting.

We were just talking about all the different types of camping people do. Camping in RVs, car camping, setting up a tent, etc. I am not a fan of car or RV camping. The only way I will go camping is if we hike... facebook.com/10000016324617…

I had candles lit at my house last night but they didn't smell at all. Makes no scents!

I think that Priest just bought a pack of Marlboros. Holy smokes.

My kids have a gymnastics competition today. I couldn't beam more excited.

A man had an unfortunate traffic accident, and lost his left arm and leg. He's all right now.

If Apple has a big company celebration, do they call it a Gala?

Awesome. Ran out of propane last night some time. It's 59 degrees in the house and the propane people don't answer. 😕

I went to a zoo once that only had one single dog. No other animals to see at all. It was a Shih Tzu.

Another snow day? Man, these people have no class.

No school for the kids today. Icy why they did that.

This Chiefs QB seems like a cool guy....like he could totally be Mahomes slice. #bonuspuntoday

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

When it comes to making farm animal puns, I am the GOAT.

I know you rib snobs who smoke runs for hours on end will probably stick your noses up...but the easiest way to make magnificent ribs is with an Instant pot. 20 min in the IP Baste with sauce Finish under broiler or on grill So easy. So good.

I just got a job playing a baby horse in a play. I'm about to act a foal. 🐎🐎🐎🐎

I asked Alexa if she would be my girlfriend and she said "I like you as a friend". Geez...flashback to college much? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Where did the roof meet its wife? A shingles bar, of course.

I don't watch much basketball...but when I see a game on and the name "Tim Hardaway Jr." comes on ...I instantly feel old. That Jr. part really hurts.