𝒥. 𝒮ims

𓁺 . . Jon Sims, Department Head The Archivist ❨ pin 🧷 ❩

@atlas_skyfall …It’s complicated. I wish it were as simple as to be together or not.

@BLINDEEYE You don't want him to be on his own but you're not letting him be with you??

Just as things get in order, isolated the environment properly— Choke decided to make its reappearance.

@atlas_skyfall Hardly. I’m cancerous as long as i’m connected to the bloody institute.

@BLINDEEYE Jon, no one has found a different way out of there yet, and that isn't for lack of trying. He's not on his own, he still has you, right?

@atlas_skyfall I should’ve found another way. He’s on his own now, that is indeed my fault.

@BLINDEEYE Well, you had no idea it would go this way, it isn't really your fault?

@atlas_skyfall it’s alright. I’ve made my bed, now I must lie in it.

@BLINDEEYE ..Oh, right. That's, fair enough. I'm sorry man that all sounds really shit for you both to have to deal with

@atlas_skyfall He would’ve, before knowing I wasn’t sure if severing the connection would kill me or not. Now it’s a.. touchy subject.

@BLINDEEYE ? Wouldn't he want you to go through with your guys original plan? Especially if it meant you could both be safe and leave

@atlas_skyfall ..I don’t think he’d forgive me if i tried again. Which— might be for the best, I don’t deserve his forgiveness. Selfishly i’d like it, though.

@BLINDEEYE Oh.. Could you. Get someone else to do it? Not Martin obviously, but anyone else?

@atlas_skyfall It wouldn’t let me, no matter what i tried. Martin wouldn’t do it to me. He couldn’t, I suppose. And now we’re both alone.

@BLINDEEYE Wouldn't work? As in, you couldn't make yourself do it or-?

@atlas_skyfall I tried. I really did. I’d love nothing more than to be rid of this place, this life, but it wouldn’t work.

@BLINDEEYE ...Ah. You didn't go through with it then? If you're still dealing with him

@atlas_skyfall I ah— Melanie, and Martin. They’re no longer with us. At the institute I mean. He wasn’t impressed by my attempts to join them.

@BLINDEEYE Ah- I'm sorry :/ the Buried is horrible. Why's he upset with you? Aside from that tending to be like his neutral emotion when he isn't tormenting people

@atlas_skyfall He’s not too happy with me at the moment, he wouldn’t let me get killed. But certainly isn’t opposed to light torment.

@BLINDEEYE Is that the archives?? Surely Elias wouldn't want the buried in his institute?

― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

i don’t think you trust in my self-righteous suicide.

i did what i thought was right.

like a child， i flinch at violence， wherever i find it. even when i'm the seed. even when i'm the sacrifice.

and maybe someday you and I again.

I feel disgust sitting in this body that is no longer mine. He’s ruined everything.

and as my final act of love, i will always choose to love you forever, even if i couldn’t make you mine, even if i’m not the one you’ll ever choose to love.