Baby Hellraiser

Yes mom, I did put that clementine in the shower. I thought you would enjoy a snack next time you're in there. You're welcome.

Mom. I swear I didn't know you would burn your arm on the oven when I ran at you. #HappyThanksgiving

Vomit no longer fazes this woman. Threw up on her foot while she was on the phone and she didn't miss a beat. Kept on yapping. Srsly mommy?

I slept for a few hours, and now I'm all done sleeping. Why can't you guys just respect that instead of trying to force the issue?

Nice save mom. I wasn't 100% sure you'd catch me when I hurled myself off my changing pad, but I'm glad you did. Dad would've been pissed.

No mom, I don't want you to read me one book. I want you to read me twenty. There. It's decided.

So what if I panic when you put a shirt over my head? What if it DID get stuck mom? We don't need to discuss probability just possibility.

Mom. My head is sweating in your arm so of course I'm going to cry about it. Turn the air up or something.

Now that I can walk, I'm a big girl. So yes, I will scream like a wild banshee every time you try to put me in the stroller. Get used to it.

Mom. Your job is to sit in my room next to me while I nap. You can play on the iPad or your phone, but no, you may not leave. Seriously.

So what if I wanted to see what your toes taste like mom? Solution to your problem: socks.

Mommy is so mean. All I want to do this afternoon is chew on this end table, and she is having none if it. #partypoopermommy

Waited until right after mom showered and put on clean clothes to throw up down her shirt. Gotcha sucker.

So what if I threw up on the stroller. Everything should be washable mom.

What? You wanted to sleep last night mom? It's more fun to be awake for a few hours to break it up. Sleep is so boring.

I was gung ho for our nature walk until we saw all the signs about coyotes. Mom vs. coyote is not a match I'd like to see.

I waited for my teachers to come today to start walking all over the place. The look on mom's face was priceless.

So what if I do like to play in vomit? Don't judge me mommy.

That's right. I was incredibly well behaved for our company tonight. I want everyone to think my parents are liars. So far it's working.

Acquired a pink balloon from the Home Depot for my collection. Epic Saturday morning.