Ball Sack Lunch

@ReallyLoudFart you’re also uncouth

I'm an unwashed uncut unc I'm Unc³

ending every school paper with a death threat so my professor knows chatGPT didn’t write it for me

there’s a little patch of quicksand in the jungle, behind a large banana tree, that i use as my own personal pocket pussy, and there’s no cleanup involved afterwards, the quicksand just slurps it all up like a dirty cum slut

if i ever tell you to give me those drugs i gave you and told you never to give back to me under any circumstance, be aware that perhaps i was under the influence then, but i am not now and i think it’s genuinely a good idea to give me back those drugs

i’m feeling an intense sensation in my loins, i think i’m gonna rate this a 5 in my new loin sensation app, SensaLoin

call me boots riley the way i’m sorry to bother you, but you’re looking fine tonight

The first time I had sex with a woman she told me to fuck her and I said I don’t know how

pissing out my ass cuz my dick don’t work

nobody knows this but when Rivers Cuomo sang “goddamn you half-japanese girls do it to me every time,” he was actually talking a about a half-japanese, half black girl, it’s just that blasian wasn’t a term back then

i don’t care how old you are, i’m gonna call every man’s gradual increase of flirting with you over a long period of time “grooming” ex: he knew you since you were 25 and now you’re 30 and he’s 32? are you sure he wasn’t grooming you?

i Philip her K until my Dick totally recalls

a tit for a tat will leave the whole world with a double masectomy

@davidgross_man if only he could’ve helped the main character who mattered the most in his life find his passion

Stav is the platonic ideal of side character who helps the main character find his passion

@TrevorOfficialR to be fair, no one is calling that a joke, it’s just a statement.

I am living proof that leftists don’t have to be like this

@gaylittlepiglet yes, but only cuz i was trying not to J.O.

You ever get so horny you have to put an ice pack on your shit

@WaifuWallace You ever get so horny you have to freeze your poop

it is possible to wipe too hard

I work at a prison all day then I come home and watch police body cam footage

@TrevorOfficialR i been peeing on my balls for so long that my ball sack has a tiny river course indented on it in the middle

Just peed on my balls #SmallDick

@FellerYeller she knows your alt linkedin

The HR lady at my job hates my guts for no reason. Who am I supposed to go to about that?