Vibes are so good right now I wouldn’t even feel bad about throwing trash out the window. If I fail my exam on Wednesday and this girl says no to my date invitation the come down might kill me
Coming up with an outlandish conspiracy theory so I can tell the press I’m not suicidal and then kill myself in murky circumstances so redditors worship me posthumously
Saw three classic old guys throughout today. Dahmer glasses, button down tucked into khakis at gut level, combovers. Don’t get to see that often anymore…
Pulled the classic “I’m moving to Nebraska City, Nebraska to work at the windmill factory museum” prank at work and was met with a concerning level of support