BeamWeapons

@hellothisisivan You have achieved Nirvana, and may now ascend to Heaven.

And that’s it. I’ve watched every episode of Crossroads included in this boxset. Where do I go now?

@hellothisisivan I thought the same excitement when it was on Monday evening. Then I watched it.

Actually incredibly exciting: a film I thought I might never see

@hellothisisivan Not sure I've ever met a real man, although I've definitely met dozens that are fake as fuck.

Bloody hell imagine being an actual adult male and worrying about what ‘real men’ do. This stuff’s so tedious. I’m over 18, I’ve got a dick between my legs so whatever I do is what a man does.

@hellothisisivan With all the music in the world, imagine liking Paul Weller that much. With all the haircuts in the world, imagine having that one. Massive failure of imagination and waste of free will in both cases.

I’m never entirely sure whether this is the world’s least flattering hairstyle or it’s only extremely unattractive men who have it

@hellothisisivan @ShowerAbsolute See also Adult Tree.

@ShowerAbsolute Isn’t Dollar Tree forbidden in the Ten Commandments?

The all time greatest autobiography title

@hellothisisivan £££

What is point

@NicholasBannan @amanda_hjinx @MarinaPurkiss 'I will not rest until Russia's greatest love machine is released'

@amanda_hjinx @MarinaPurkiss And Michael Fabricant is keen to lobby for the release of Rasputin.

@WhoCulture The worst thing was playing that guitar.

Okay, we LOVE Peter Capaldi as the Twelfth Doctor, but he was definitely a bit grumpy from time to time. #DoctorWho #PuddingBrain whatculture.com/tv/doctor-who-…

@hellothisisivan @The_Cybermatt Nowt nor summat

@The_Cybermatt James Bond will return in A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT

It’s inevitable they’ll eventually do a Bond film called EVERYTHING OR NOTHING isn’t it?

@robertpopper The last Liberal Democrat leadership contest?

Has there ever been a duller competition?

@hellothisisivan This is the most plausible.

@BeamWeapons A third possibility: FANNY RECLAIMS THEM

I'll tell you one thing I've NEVER seen in all my many many many years of scouring charity shops: a book by Fanny Cradock or even any instalments of her partwork

@hellothisisivan In our house, we call Paul Copley 'Johnny Briggs' Dad', even though we know he wasn't.

Crikey, I have never seen Paul Copley that young before

@yorkieautie @MyDoncaster Yes, but in other news, there are other people in the world apart from you.

@MyDoncaster Stop right there. Masks are NOT RESPECTFUL. I am autistic. I have spent the best part of 2 years being shouted at, called names and hearing "mmffwffmfwf" because of sodding masks. It is NEVER THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Leave. Us. Alone. They. Don't. Work.

Sometimes, we do things because they’re the right thing to do, not because we HAVE to.

@hellothisisivan Or, going to public school, as I call it.

We’re run by people with the opposite of Imposter Syndrome

@jonnymorris1973 It's on telly every single day.

@GreenJennyJones Breaking news: Russia and Ukraine team up to invade the UK, gathering all of Europe on the way.

Oh no. This is a blunder. Another one.

@DrMatthewSweet I admire the action they are taking, but Joni and Neil have the control and don't need the exposure, lots of newer artists aren't in that position. Also wonder what this means for artists who have sold their catalogues. Have Dylan and Springsteen lost their right to protest?

If this is hotting up into a war between artists and know-nothing grifters in the bullshit economy, I'm with Joni. latimes.com/entertainment-…