Gevous@GevousLoL
A change of pace.
I hereby announce that I'll be taking a step back and taking a break from LoL esports.
What my future will be is uncertain yet, however it's clear that I will need time to reconnect with myself.
I've made this decision already a while ago, but I really wanted to take my time before making this public. Neither was I sure if this meant retirement or not. For now, this means freezing my A-/S-Tier career.
Current esports lifestyle is unsustainable. The norm is:
- Work/train 10-12 hours a day (which you can question its efficiency/effectiveness).
- If you are lucky, you have 1 day off per week.
- The off-season is filled with work. Holidays are very scarce.
- You sacrifice your personal life (and sometimes more) for mostly an average or above average income. There are some exceptions.
- Success or promotion is never guaranteed, because you are only as good as your last match and it's strongly advised to be good at politics. Results or delivering good work alone will only bring you so far.
- Nor does this job secure you your future.
I recently turned 29. Other things are getting more important in life, like my family and my own personal life & well-being. You have to sacrifice most, if not all of it, if you want to win and be successful. Meaning that you can’t really build a social life. The cost of this profession is high. It can easily affect your mental health, because the norm is a recipe for burnout and (mental) health issues. There is little to no longevity. Metaphorically speaking: only the 1% of the 1% of people that manage to make esports as a career earns piles of cash for the time they put in. Which then if they play their money smart, can settle them for a very long time.
So for anyone reading this that aspires to be an esports player/coach... know what you get yourself into. Evaluate if this is really worth it for you and have a back-up plan. For me personally, I can say it is/was. But keep the statistics in mind, be realistic. I can say I have seen the world, I have made meaningful connections and loved what I did. Even though I - like most of us in esports - got fucked over many times, leaving me with even less. I am happy to see players/staff be successful in all their own ways, and I feel blessed to have been a part of their journey.
Coaching and esports are still two passions of mine, but I'm simply burnt out at this moment. It's a repeating cycle every single year. Which for a lot of us it is. I will likely return sooner if I already find opportunities that can contribute to the longevity of the esport and where it allows me to have balance with my personal life.
Preferably this is the direction I want to pursue. To go where I can achieve or evolve my vision of a better future for esports performance. There is much more that we can achieve through deliberate training and shifting to a healthier long term mindset. In my opinion, we are just running ourselves into the ground with the current way of operating. We are human, not robots. And the improvements we make are usually very limited per split/season. We are mostly chasing short term successes, instead of curing the root problem. This is a multi-layered problem that exists. And just stacking more crunching hours is not going to do anything and seems to be the only solution offered. For example: we are trying to match the raw playtime to Asian players/teams, but do we look at *HOW* they train/compete and do team (infra)structure? I think we have much to learn in quality, not in quantity. Good to take inspiration from other successful regions, but we also have to further innovate to make it make sense for our own framework. Note: this is mostly anecdotal evidence, it may not be 100% factual.
The point is, I just think it’s paradoxical the way we run and manage our teams and the esport. And we’ve been hardstuck for some time now. Even right now in recent news in the LoL scene seem rather controversial and concerning. But I don't have enough insight to make proper comments or judgement about it. I think there are currently better people than me that can give input about it.
The only environment that I have experienced in my 8-9 years of coaching where I could thrive and grow, is Movistar Riders. They are so far the only organization I know that knows what they are doing. I think their success was inevitable. They have a structural recipe for continuous success. And I think it’s thanks to them for most of the person and type of coach I have become. I am proud of myself and what I have achieved so far.
I could write tons more about many things... but then I might as well publish a book or create a multi-episode podcast. I just wanted to share the tip of the iceberg of my concerns for whatever value that may bring to you. (Hopefully it has). Anyway:
Thank you to all the people that have been part of my journey and that helped me achieve everything I did. I wish you all the love and success.
And thank you to the fans/followers for all of your support. Without you, this indusry wouldn't exist. I get goosebumps thinking of the times performing live on stage and hearing your team chants and cheering. I absolutely loved it.
And who knows, maybe I'll return sooner or later in better health and form. But first, it's time to reconnect with myself. With Fayan. Someone that has been neglected for a couple years now.
With gratitude,
- G
