Lonely Autistic ✨(She/Her)✨

For example: when I have to study for something, my brain instantly says "guess we can't read that book anymore" yes, you can. You can study and read your book later, you can still do enjoyable things, Mr Walter.

My brain doesn't comprehend that we can do our responsibilities and have fun on the same day.

Can you tell me your tips (if you have any) on how to focus better (actually, how to focus at all bc I literally can't) on things?

@adhdautisticguy You are so brave for doing that. I hope this experience can really help you. Wish you all the best, friend.

"I'm can't talk about this rn" doesn't mean talking about it is uncomfortable, it means if I talk about it, I'm going to have a meltdown. Don't assume things based on your way of thinking.

Idk about you, but I've hidden so much of myself for my whole life that when someone so easily sees right through me, it feels jarring and uncomfortable

The other day I sent my boyfriend a funny picture of me when I thought i was smiling but I looked like I was in pain, and that man literally said "you spent so much time controlling your facial expressions that you didn't learn how to do them naturally" ... Ouch.

@mythsandrist I feel like you're the saner one here 😭😂

@BenignNumbness I get that. I couldn't handle it. 😬

Graduation gown is definitely not autism friendly

@mythsandrist Ugh unfortunately that is so true. Bad news for me bc I want to pursue the academic path 😭😭

@BenignNumbness Nothing that happens in or around schools is autism friendly 🥺

Even doing what I want, just the fact that it is different from what I wanted before, makes it uncomfortable for me.

I struggle with changes on a daily basis, but the hardest change for me is to go from being a teenager to an adult. I don't mean just the new responsibilities, but having new tastes for movies, books, music, and what I do for fun too.

I've completely lost the ability to pay attention. Sometimes I'm watching a video and I'm interested, 10 seconds go by and I go "nope can't do that" and skip the video.

I wish traumas were like a to-do list, and I could ✅️ and be done dealing with it

The graduation ceremony has been complete hell for me. Everything that's involved in the fucking ceremony stresses me out so much. If it wasn't mandatory, I definitely wouldn't go.

I swear to you that when I put on a dress (which I already hate) with a tight turtle neck and no sleeves, I thought that was it for me I thought I was going to die and I'm not even joking

Hell for autistic people: spending the whole day trying on clothes

Finding clothes to wear to my graduation ceremony has proven to be almost as bad as studying for 5 whole years and being humiliated by uni professors

@adhdautisticguy Sorry I've been absent, friend, but I want you to know I wish you're safe and that you can get better soon!

Sometimes, I trick myself into thinking I can just let go of my autism and become allistic with willpower. I literally just thought "ok tomorrow I'm going to ignore my sensory issues with food and eat a salad." Girl... that's not how it works.