tyrannosaurus bex

Me: spends 2 weeks prepping a one shot #dungeonsanddragons game for a group of relative strangers and panicking they’ll hate it and hate me After playing- Them: OMG That was great thanks so much! [etc] Me: what if they’re lying and actually hated it tho

Nothing says Christmas like my mum acting like I’m the most insane person ever for suggesting a steak at a fully booked hungry horse on a Friday night in the Christmas season might not be cooked to her exacting standards

Sorry I can’t finish work today my wedding photos just came back and I’m busy texting my husband 1200 times to make him come home early so we can look at them

The past 12 months of working non-stop travelling in a van in questionable areas with questionable toilets or more often, no toilets, has all been worth it as on my wedding day I managed to hold my bladder the entire day and did not have to pee while wearing a wedding dress

Is there a word for that feeling you have when you do something while knowing you’re going to have to lie about it later? Like eat leftovers from afternoon tea when you know in an hour your personal trainer is going to ask what you had for breakfast?

Well, we missed the last cardboard recycling day until after the wedding, the next one is while we’re on our honeymoon, so I guess all this cardboard is with us for the long haul.

What do other people do when they can’t sleep? Because I refuse to believe I’m the only one who just watches their doorbell camera and waits for foxes to show up

How much does your job suck? Because yesterday mine sucked so bad I got told I was taking a non-optional mental health day today.

I don’t know who owns these cars or why @webuyanycar are so obsessed with me but I guess this is my life now

Just did my annual try on of a pair of dungarees I bought in about 2016. This year they fit, which is always a win, but they still make me look like a toddler. I want to be a dungaree person, how do I make this work.

My poor little car that normally just ferries me to and from the gym, doesn’t even have to do the food shop, just had to ferry fiancé and his 3 mates, including 2 massive squaddies all back to their respective homes after a night out- tried a hill start and nothing happened

@MixyRic What I’m hearing is that this is my fathers fault

@Bexting Based on why I do the same thing - because you have anxiety around time and fear of being inconvenient.... potentially

If father and I are meeting in a set place and he is leaving from from his house which is 25 minutes away, why do I feel the need to leave at the same time even though I am only 10 minutes away?

@GrrlGhost I’m doing this soon but buying a bunch of the sample size ones so they’re in individual sealed product packaging I’m hoping that helps my case if anyone thinks it’s anything suspicious lol

Just absolutely victimised myself by trying on a dress I wore to a friends wedding 2 years ago thinking it would be too big for me to wear to another wedding this year… it JUST zipped 😬

Does anyone else have intrusive thoughts about eating a whole spoonful of clear protein powder? I know it’s a bad idea but also what if it tastes like sherbet

“Only women who’s frontal lobe hasn’t fully developed will put up with me”

Does anyone else get in bed, get all cosy, and then all you can think about is how nice a coffee would be rn? Like, that is the opposite of what I need. Sounds so good tho.

Just want everyone to know I accidentally ate some garlic bread that used to be vegan but had a recipe change and now has milk powder in and now I’m having an identity crisis. Happy Easter.

Can’t get out of bed because my watch is charging and why waste energy that’s not going to get logged

@bridebook I am being continually harassed by a supplier who has clearly been hacked and there seems to be no way to report this!