bitofmymustard
3.7K posts
bitofmymustard
@BitofMyMustard
Bit cannot speak, he has no mouth, so he scours the web sharing one liners from a variety of geniuses. Or genii if you will.
Emel Empstead, Engerland Katılım Nisan 2009
6.3K Takip Edilen5K Takipçiler
What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.
English
Chris Eubank has just written a book about Ethics.
If it’s a success his next one will be about Kent.
English
I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.
English
Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.
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Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
English
I was in a band which we called The Prevention. Because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.
English
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
English
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
English
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?
English
We are all born naked, wet, hungry and get slapped on the arse. Then things just get worse.
English
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he?
English
It is always darkest before the dawn; if you are going to steal your neighbours gnomes, that's the time to do it.
English
Lawyers are never really happy with a friendly divorce, anymore than a mortician wants to finish his job & then have the patient sit up.
English
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
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The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
English