Blake Beaver

I don’t appreciate the threatening tone…

So every Saturday morning, for as long as my son can remember, I’ve made pancakes from scratch in whatever obscure shape he wants. This kid decided to use his first grade opinion paper to drag my pancakes…

@ksnyd_10 Best thing I’ve seen all day. Congrats

Business aside, it's kinda surreal seeing your photos being used by the team you and your family grew up loving.

My son just asked me if I’d rather be immortal or have a Nintendo switch…

Evan (singing to the Pokémon theme): oooooh you’re my best ho, in a world that we must hoooooooo. Me: ummm, what was that? Evan: well, actually you can use a ho in Minecraft to dig up all the ore…

I’m a big dummy who introduced my kindergartner to Pokémon go before a cold front and now I’m about to go outside in 37 degree weather to try to find a psyduck

My daughter asked me why I made a rubber band ball. I told her that I didn’t know, but I just liked doing it. I woke up to this. Her explanation was “I know you like doing it and now you get to do it again!”

@ConnieB07 For anyone wondering, that’s not a chipped tooth. He had just finished eating some blueberries

@ConnieB07 Ok a few things. 1) you didn’t use those tactics when you were a kid because you said you learned them when I beat you last time. 2) bear in mind this is her second time to ever play battleship

Annual watching of Muppet Christmas Carol and my daughter asks me if this really happened. I explained that it was a story by Charles Dickens and proceed to show her a picture of him. She looks confused and goes “... he’s not blue and hairy...”

@ConnieB07 @bmckin85 I’m not sure why I’m offended by this but I am

@bmckin85 Good times. Fox if I respected my opponent. Jiggly Puff if I wanted to embarrass somebody

@ksnyd_10 I agree. Hogs got screwed

HE THREW IT BACKWARDS

You love to see it #MVP

@crowbarsnest Upgrading him from serviceable to above average

@crowbarsnest This is honestly my first time to watch him play. Seems serviceable. #MFFL

I've seen enough basketball: Paul George AIN'T that dude

@Brewmeonit @crowbarsnest @sarinakeller Gonna pour out a $2 goblet of shiner tonight

@crowbarsnest @sarinakeller Another one bites the dust...noooo!!

Damn @Brewmeonit @sarinakeller