Bob Halfords

@Daily_MailUS It’s a missing first page from the Bible… "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental"

Bible scrolls from era of Jesus hailed as 'greatest archaeological discovery of all time' unveiled

@RangersFC Just give it a rest this week, we don’t want to hear it

📚 In this week’s Gers Guide, the men’s first-team build-up to their next post-split fixture, the women’s side are in midweek league action before their Scottish Cup semi-final on Sunday, whilst the Under-17s are also in action. 📲 Read Here | rng.rs/4vJWZqC

🎥 The moment A moment Austin Laird will never forget. 👏 From the Stirling Albion Junior Academy to first team goal scorer 🎥 Stranraer FC 🎤 George Loudon

@JohnSwinney This could have been done over zoom calls. Not taking a diesel bus out on the road unnecessarily. There’s a climate crisis going on FFS.

Great to take delivery of my Campaign Bus - On Scotland’s Side. Look forward to travelling all around Scotland with a message of hope with the Fresh Start of Independence. #BothVotesSNP

@Phantomthe55th @Fleshers_Haugh We’ve got the highest percentage of Specky baldy podcasters of any club in the land, what a club.

Great to see this completely normal bear still sharing his eloquent and insightful thoughts on The Rangers. Takes real courage given the recent vicious and unwarranted attacks on him from @Fleshers_Haugh.

This is absolutely 41 seconds of pure gold. But is he right?

@SpursWinTrophys Gran-is Hagi

Nanny Röhl

@heartss1874 @marshalldave38 Because literally zero Jambos will be in the home end at Parkhead if they have a chance of winning the league in the last game 🙄

@marshalldave38 Just don’t buy tickets in home ends. It’s really not difficult to understand.

Falkirk fans wanting to ban us from the last game of the season. Hearts fans worried we’re going to storm their hospitality suites like it’s the beaches at Normandy. Aberdeen fans…very interested in what we’re up to for some reason. Are you all feeling okay?

4-3 Falkirk score come on Bairns!!!!

@scotsunsport Why would an organisation that can call on full time referees from the top leagues across the world take part timers from a footballing backwater?

BREAKING: NO Scottish referees named on list of 170 World Cup officials as ten-year exile from major competitions continues ❌😬 thescottishsun.co.uk/sport/16135590…

@FadeAwayMedia Darby Allin would have done a dive from the edge of space onto a table in Jacksonville

NASA really sent astronauts to space and they decided to put on the greatest wrestling match of all time 😭 THAT MOON-SAULT WAS WILD ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

@NS_1872 Caught mowing down a cyclist, while driving a 1980s 2 litre diesel motor, with a broken exhaust spewing carcinogenic smoke into the air, while on a mobile phone, are the skeletons I'm expecting!

I’m sorry but if you spend your days winding up the Simpletons, your house absolutely MUST be in order. It’s that simple. I’m dreading the day I finally get outed, I have an ungodly number of skeletons in my closet.

@Ryanair April fools is tomorrow lads

Update...

@F0reverEvert0n Thomas Bro-Line

Cocaine is a hell of a drug 🤣🤣🤣

@Phantomthe55th @ScotlandNT Pray for Phants. Both Parkers and Hampers have been dens of inequity for him this season. Thank fuck he’s still got Broxers and the mighty Presbyterians to see him through to the end of the season. Or failing that the Gorgie rugby boys.

@ScotlandNT I’ve been going to Hampers for 7 decades now and I won’t be back after that. A tepid performance wearing sectarian orange shirts, I’m ashamed to be Scotch tonight.

FULL TIME: Scotland 0-1 Japan. A late goal for the visitors gives them victory in a tight game at the National Stadium. #SCOJPN

@KerryFail Who are these celtic fans. I’d like to meet them, the sound like thoroughly decent sorts

There seems to be a new breed of "celtic fan" that I don't think I will ever understand. Identifies as British, loves the royal family, has no national pride, bows and scrapes to their 'betters' and hates immigrants. Brother Walfrid would be turning in his grave.

@KerryFail Call him mr bater, Call him mr wrong, Call him insane, He said, I know what I want and I want it now, I need a poo cause I’m mr vain.

@trueblues1872 Looks like Gary Anderson with MON voice. 😂

🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely detest Luke McCowan... I hate everything about him including his wee postman pat face

@KerryFail You found either Kieran Tierney or Charlie Nicholas’ login

Massive day for football. Celtic win Arsenal win Make it happen 🙏🙏🙏