Bance the Crapper

So glad I took a trip to Toronto just to see my close personal friend, @RayAblack

Also SNL aside nobody wants to like anything anymore and I think that’s a problem culturally. Everyone would rather feel superior by calling everything not funny and you know all these platforms especially this one incentivizes that negativity.

No one at work ever remembers to pay the baby tax (show me a picture when you get back from baby leave)

Every time i eat something extra spicy i think of donald glover asking the hot ones audience if we know that they filmed that at 9 am?!?!?

@AarKuNine Definitely not weird!

@v0xtheriot Today's earworm is provided by noah kahan, Headed North

@Bohan_Identity Me right now with raye's "where the hell is my husband"

When I don't want to bother my coworkers by playing the same song i wanna hear over and over again on the speaker, i just sing the one line of it stuck in my head over and over again

I'm not new to this

what a gift to exist while noah kahan is making music

This album is for anyone who waits for folks to exit the elevator before trying to barge in. If you barge in this album is not for you and only my song hurt somebody is yours to listen to

Google can't even handle searching direct quotes

Preparing reels to send for when my friend is in labor so she'll have something to do after

The office has been getting progressively hotter all day so im living the frog in boiling water life

Okay i need to figure out how remixing songs work cause i think House Tour and The Giver would sound lovely together

Pitt finale tonight and then ill be out of things to think about except rhori lol

@electrolemon Can't have shit at Domino's

just got an email saying my domino's pizza points are about to expire. i can't have one fucking thing in this fucking world

Scientists have been researching re-entry into the work place after the weekend and seeing if it can be as easy as astronauts re-entry into earths atmosphere

Is it still called a knick knack when it's used in the kitchen

Oh I don't f around so i never find out

Did anyone set up a real housewives of rhode island bus tour yet?

Every time I'm at a coffee shop it's like I'm drew barrymore in 50 first dates and ordering anything at all is adam sandler to me