paige

Here's 73-year-old Senator Susan Collins vibrating like an electric toothbrush in her re-election campaign announcement 😬

My met gala theme would be “cheesecake factory”

I will be the judge of that

Thanks. He is a delightful child at times. Some of his “bits” include saying “just LOOK at all that pee” when he uses a public toilet and he also calls me “sir”

This child is payback for the time I told my dad’s coworkers my mom could “do tricks with her boobs”

3yo told a stranger at the gas station I let him drink gasoline as a baby

3yo just asked for a camera for the bathroom so he can watch himself poop

The "A Worse Version of a Thing I Remember" Cinematic Universe

i once went to disney world for work and ended up at a pool-side bar talking to a couple who did every holiday at disney. "don't you ever want to go to paris or something?" i asked. "we can do that here," the one guy replied, referring to the epcot center's french pavilion.

@noble_stabbings I believe the barfing also happened at the same time as the shit pee came farting

@BonerWizard was this before or after he camed and peed or simultaneous

Rudy Giuliani shitted and farted and pissed and came all at the same time and now he’s completely deflated in a hospital bed they’ve never seen someone who shit farted camed peed so hard

I don’t like all those nicknames the libs come up with for Trump. Please just say a cuss I’m begging you

they tried to do CPR but the air just went straight out his butt as a fart

Sources have confirmed he also barfed

Rudy Giuliani has been released from hospital after doctors realized he just looks like that

just got out of mother mary. as soon as the credits rolled someone in my row yelled RUDY GIULIANI IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION

Rudy Giuliani, one of the fascinating Americans of our time. Clowned on for being unable to stop cheating on his wife, briefly becomes the most respected man in the world, then again clowned on for being unable to stop cheating on his wife while also melting

it’s so woke on tiktok they asking why clowns have afros

I can’t even remember what the world is supposed to be like

Barney Frank literally dying on CNN while denouncing trans kids in sports is all time peak for the Dem brand

jesus