Lizzie Mac

USA USA USA! #Gold #WomensHockey #Overtime 🥇🏒👸 WoooHoooHooo

I might get hit by a lightning bolt since my town is usually so humid, but can we have some humidity in the air please? The cold air is so dry and my hair is so fine that I look like a dandelion.

Holy Elves Batman! Have not baked a single cookie. Have not had one cup of cocoa. Christmas cards sent? Nope. And gasp! It’s Dec 23rd and not one Christmas movie watched. I’m a #ChristmasSlacker

How does one not like Taco Bell? Not saying it is a gourmet or authentic establishment. Just yummy! My tastebuds must still be teenagers. #GuiltyPleasure

Is there an ordinance in my town against impersonating a beached whale on the front lawn in our town? 2 60yr old neighbors laying in their boxers on their driveway sunning with their beer bellies pointing skyward. 🤣🤣 Go in the backyard dudes. #OhMyEyes

Hey #AOC , last time I looked, an 18 yr old is an adult in the US. Those #campusprotestors may be acting like 2yr olds, but they are not kids.

Why aren’t heated sofas and heated arm chairs a thing? Taking #ComfyCouch to the next level. Someone invent this. I’d buy one.

How hard can caulking a crack be? Is it anything like icing a sugar cookie? Bc I don’t want my kitchen window frame to look like a blind elephant was at work icing cookies. #Caulk #SealTheCrack #StopTheAnts

When the #MarchMadness announcers calling a game are so obnoxiously biased toward one team I automatically cheer for the other team. #CrossingAllFingersAndToes

I would cheerfully wrestle an alligator than put another duvet cover on a comforter. And no swearing allowed because it is Holy Week. Why is it so difficult? #RasumfrassumScoobyDoo Next up… Making a lamb cake that looks like a gorilla & elephant decorated it

Guessing the produce buyer for my store does not celebrate St Patrick’s Day. What the heck man? No potatoes. No cabbage. We live in the Land of transplanted Leprechauns! The produce section should be swimming in potatoes, cabbage and carrots!

When I die I’m going to Saran Wrap Hell and won’t be let out until I figure out how to stick it tightly to a bowl. #TooMuchSwearing #SomeoneHelpMe

Not impressed with AI so far. My grocery app isn’t recognizing my email/password combo. Tried to reset the password 4x with an “invalid” code. 😤😤😤 Listen AI it IS me because you are sending the reset code to the email I have on the sign in & I’m resetting. Arrrrrgggghhhhhh.

It’s snowing, it’s snowing, it’s snowing! Big, fluffy snowflakes coming down just like in White Christmas. Almost time for cocoa and a movie!

My Alexa is creeping me out. She is answering my questions when I haven’t even said her name. #NotTalkingToYou #Alexa

@ilovenostalgia The Jardiance commercial

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Listen Mother Nature. Take your gale force winds and snow elsewhere. I have 3 cases of chocolate & a 5 gallon bucketful of non-chocolate candy I have to give away. #Halloween 🎃 👻 🧙‍♀️ 🍫 🍭

Changed my text message alert tone to “Crickets”. #Hilarious events occur when the alert goes off. People begin looking around & under things for “that bug.”😂

Think the LittlePeople that live in my head are practicing that new math. Counting yarn loops for a blanket and they are counting …. 42,43,44, 14, 15, 52, 53…. 😮???? Pretty sure this blanket will not turn out square. #NewMath #AnythingGoes

Hey! That Emergency Test came 2 minutes early and scared the petunias out of me. Obviously the testing system can’t tell time. 1:20 people, not 1:18