BoredFox

I prefer to use the larger stalls in public restrooms as I like to have the option to walk around.

Not everyone can.

It’s weird that it is frowned upon to say “I hate my job” while at work, but people laugh and cheer when you exclaim “tgif am I right?!”

Whenever I get a tummy ache I remember that the lord gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors.

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” I say as I start on my second dozen doughnuts.

Your discarded lunch bag from yesterday says the ‘calling is there’ for him to run for president

WWJD= What Would Jesus Do? DJWW= Did Jesus start World War 2?

“Girl dinner.” He mutters to himself as he grabs another donut.

Me, looking around for the cameras.

The more virgin the olive oil, the less flavor.

When you are truly cooking.

I mean, we didn’t stop calling it twitter, why would we call it a different gulf?

Honesty will help them get better.

I cannot be stopped.

Amazon is trying to sell me tear away pants and I’m sitting here like, what am I a stripper? What kind of money do they make? Would I be able to pull it off?

They fly everyday! Why do eggs cost more now?

I didn’t know they were going to release his prison photos.

And then a voice said to me; “Tonight you will be visited by three spirits’” “They are all cats.” “One of them will bite.”