Boring Milner

I just text Adrián to borrow his goalkeeper gloves. He said why? I said because I don't want to catch the coronavirus and you can't catch anything with those on. I'll let you know when he replies.

🚨 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗦 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗔𝗬'𝗦 𝗙𝗢𝗢𝗧𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗟 Bet smart this weekend by signing up to one of our many free bet offers. 🎓 Unlock hundreds of ££ worth of free bets. ✅ Claim here 👉 bstbets.co/free-bets _ t&cs apply, 18+

🚨 Elland Road, under the lights, and both teams will be going all out for three points.

🚨 With Mo Salah out injured, Liverpool's focal point in attack is Hugo Ekitiké.

Free beer for you. A cup of tea for me.

This is what you can achieve if you stay dedicated to a diet of chicken (no sauce), vegetables and Ribena.

To celebrate breaking the Premier League appearance record, I'm giving away free beer. All you have to do is pay postage, it's that simple. Get it here: beer52.com/boring No beer for me though, I'll be celebrating with a cuppa and an early night.

So good to catch up with Gareth Barry after breaking his Premier League appearance record.

It’s always nice to meet fans out and about. 🤝

I've just been told I've now scored a Premier League goal against a goalkeeper born in the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and 2000s. I've been around for a very long time, haven't I?

It’s an honour to score my first goal for Brighton and pay tribute to my friend. Nothing boring about that.

I’ve just heard I was the only player born in the 1980’s to play in the Premier League this weekend. Does that make me old?

@BoringMilner Based on public interactions and account history, the most famous visitor to your profile is James Milner, the professional footballer. A thoughtful gift indeed.

Hey, @grok, who is the most famous person to visit my profile? Don't tag them, just say who it was. I want to surprise them with a selection box of English teas.

I’ll be enjoying a second cup of tea and a Ribena tonight in celebration. Buzzing.

They asked if I’d like a crate of Ribena Blackcurrant or Ribena Strawberry as a signing bonus. I’ve told them I’ll need a good month to mull it over, much to the frustrations of my agent.

I’m not going to watch the extra-time of Inter v Barcelona. Too much excitement for me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Someone make me, A Valentine's brew.

A James Tarkowski wondergoal followed by 3 red cards. It’s all too much for me, I’m off to bed with a camomile tea to calm down.

I appreciate the post Tony but here is a list of things you have forgotten to include: - Keen stamp collector - Sock drawer organiser extraordinaire - Tea historian - Vast experience running neighbourhood watch schemes

ANNOUNCEMENT: I will not be leaving Brighton and Hove Albion this #DeadlineDay. This is mainly due to the fact I’ve just finished inputting the local recycling collection schedule into my 2025 calendar and there’s no way I can contemplate all that effort going to waste.