Literally the boys

Setting tinder radius to 5km.

☘️ 👋

6 bucks for footy record still seems a bit much. But what if it was feety record? How much would I pay then?

This year will be different 🤞

If I ever get my hands on a time machine all the historical baddies getting a visit. Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, Freud’s mom. Might even find out how badly Adam fumbled with Eve.

Boy do I love a golden hour shower. A golden shower if you will.

Whats a man gotta do to get some fair dinkum around here?

If aliens are real why haven’t they pegged, I mean probed me yet?

I could not have been at the fall of Rome. People would be screaming “The goths are outside!” and I’d just be there; bricked up.

Christ had rizzen! He has truely rizzen!

Reckon I’m a lefty

You guys ever wonder which nut u came from?

Breaking News: The Brazil Football Team, Penrith Panthers, Geelong FC and the Milwaukee Bucks have all folded effective immediately.

In the up coming corporate wars I’m pledging myself to Zambrero

That’s enough internet for today

Can’t make this shit up.

This tweet was brought to you by the “This has never happened before” gang

They call me ED and not because my middle name is Edward

If you got wordle in one today please go to therapy.

Busting into the sample receptacle of a RAT bc im a sick sick man.