CLE Info Minister

Any actual statistic I could post about Chase DeLauter would be so incredible that it would sound like some clown parody account created to create inflated farsical content about the greatness of Cleveland sports fabricated in order to fuel a comedic meme.Hall of Fame is assured!

After only one game #Guardians OF Chase DeLauter has officially been named both MVP and Rookie if the Year. World Series is assured!

@Peeker643 This is a good call. Also the golf beer which is another socially acceptable 5:30 beer, hits kind of special by announcing to your day that nothing productive is possibly going to happen today

@CLEInfoMinister I’d have to add the Airport Beer. Specifically at 530am, after surviving the security lines, and before you board your vacation destination flight. Few beers hit as right as that specific debaucherous, over-priced, “fuck it, I’m on vacation” beer.

Top 10 Beers, as seen from the eyes of @CLEInfoMinister, a thread (1/11)

And #1. The Victory Beer. Your team won. You closed the big deal. You colored between the lines. Whatever it is life is good. The first invitation to your celebration is your friend beer. Beer is here in the good times and the bad. Nothing is sweeter than the victory beer (11/11)

2. The Baseball Beer. Baseball, hot dogs, beer, and beer. That's America. If you hate the baseball beer you hate America. On a related note The Corner at Jacobs Field is the greatest bar in America. I'll fight anyone who says otherwise

Ok since all Cleveland sports teams are comfortably dominating either their season or the off-season, I'll post some different content today.

I will be doing #MeVsNuggets tonight as the #Cavs take on the terrible team from Denver. I bought a six pack of McNuggets and expect to have a lot extra at the end of the game. Might need to mix in a burger.

I am told by my sources that the essay Todd Monken submitted to the Browns is a football-themed amalgamation of A Tale of Two Cities, Crime and Punishment, The Age of Innocence, East of Eden,and Brothers Karamazov. It's truly one of the greatest literary achievements of all time!

@Spazzilla851 Some news stories just require the info minister to report, as if he wrote them himself.

@CLEInfoMinister Welcome back.

Cleveland, long known for being a hotbed for franchise quarterback play, today became the first football team ever to have two of its starters from the year named Pro Bowlers. Another amazing accomplishment for the greatest and best-managed franchise in sports!

Live look at the Detroit Tigers' clubhouse