Charlie Mustoe

Will be launching a full scale attack on @alanshearer’s bar post match. Don’t care if I go to prison for a VERY long time after tonight. Arteta you have RUINED my fucking year. If I see @antanddec I will put the pair of them in a headlock at the same time. I am SEETHING. CM

Furious. Enraged. Tempestuous. Tumultuous. Pulled my hamstring going up the stairs to away end. 5 bods carried me rest of the way up. Slapped a steward and threw a scolding hot Bovril over the home fans. Ran to toilet and threw jumper in bin. Unrecognisable. FEEL LIKE CRYING. CM

Exited the stadium. Threw the rest of my pint at the bar woman before leaving. An incandescent rage has swept me. Smoking a roll up before releasing myself onto the High Road. Getting PTSD flashbacks from Ukraine. Attacking anyone that comes before me. Shirters. Kids. Anyone. CM

Spent the last two months on the frontline in Kyiv. Doing my bit for the Ukraine resistance. Pushing back Russian advance. Forgot about the game so Oleksiy the battalion commander escorted me to the airport. We shook hands. Vice like grips. He understood I can’t miss this one. CM

Just landed in Warsaw. Heading to the train station to make my journey onwards to Kyiv. Forged strong bonds with Dynamo Ultras after Arsenal played them in 2008. Borysko head of the Ultras invited me. Border guards have been told to wave me through. The least I can do to help. CM

Incensed. Enraged. Irritating. Infuriating. One of the most pathetic performances of the season. Cost me my wages. Going to have to work overtime next week now. I Fucking HATE this football club sometimes. Gets me so depressed. CM

Lumped my bi-weekly wages on Arsenal to win @ 4/6. £465 returns £775. Banker. Certainty. Beyond doubt. Need extra money to cover rent, council tax, wi-fi and water bill. Listening on radio as internet cut off. COME ON ARSENAL! CM

Game OFF on Sunday. Will be announced soon. Can’t reveal my source but he’s one of the masseuses at the club. Grew up together. Drifted apart but kept in touch. Trustworthy. Principled. Would never lie to me. CM

The best away end I've been in for many a year. Atmosphere was electric. 5,000 impassioned gooners singing their hearts out. What a club. MY club. Bring on the second leg. Shame about work tomorrow. 9am start. Hopefully won't be too hungover. Luckily only a four hour shift. CM

@Arsenal Proud to be a part of the away end tonight. Proud of this team. Proud to be a GOONER. Bring on the second leg. CM

A hard-fought draw at Anfield. Onto the second leg - 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿! ✊ 🏆 #CarabaoCup

Kicked off train by British Transport Police at Runcorn station. Ticket Inspector grassed me in. Excessive chanting. Intimidating passengers. Binge drinking. Drug paraphernalia left in toilets. Luckily snorted it all before police arrived at scene. Uber booked to Liverpool. CM

You’re lucky I’ve calmed down a bit in my old age. Wouldn’t have wanted me to act how I did post match in 2018 would you now 😉. All you Forest fans are fortuitous I’m on my medication. Now BACK OFF. CM

At Toddington services on the M1. En route back to Barnet. Pit stop. Burger King. Phone keeps going off. Vibrating. Bewildered. Befuddled. Perplexed. Angry Forest fans constantly tweeting me. Obsessed. Jealous. Don't tempt me to get my driver to drive back up North. Warned😉. CM

@BootsUK @bondisands Won't be in for my shift tomorrow. High Street, Barnet. Hadley store. Too down and depressed. Had a day from hell. Also sporting a serious comedown. Manager phone switched off. Have sent a text also. Hopefully they receive. If not can you forward this message. Thanks. CM

Reset and recharge your glow ✨ @bondisands brand new skincare range has landed - and we're loving it 😍 Created with skin experts and packed full of Australian botanicals for happy and healthy skin 💕 Shop here: ow.ly/XTjQ50HpBSw

@Lucfergy I was going to ask you on a date today. Caught a glimpse of you out the corner of my eye. Absolutely my type. Sadly Reg was getting in a spot of bother with a steward so had to sort it. I'm hoping you'll be present at Spurs away. CM

Don’t know what’s worse, the team performance or the fact a forest fan just asked me on a date after the game. Nahhh🤣🤣

WTF is going on. Unacceptable. Disgraceful. Contemptible. Scandalous. Degrading. Out the FA Cup for the 2nd time in 26 years. Forest again. I will NEVER visit Nottingham again. Gobby fans are lucky there’s stewards separating us. Just wait until we get out the ground. LIVID. CM

Severely hungover. Been throwing up all morning. Sick. Chundering. Vomiting. Spewing. Del one of the main Mansfield bods came into the annex with a pint of water, 2 paracetamol, 2 ibuprofen & a line👌. Should sort me out. Shit. Shower. Shave. Then off to Nottingham. CM

On the beer & gear with the Mansfield Shady Express firm. Top boys. Had my back in Italia 90 when things got on top. Kept in touch ever since. Reminiscing. Recollecting. Swapping stories. Managed to bag a ticket for the Forest game tomorrow. Expecting trouble. CM

Have that. Can’t stand those 6 fingered webbed feet bastards. Incestuous idiots. Interbred imbeciles. Gesticulating to the home crowd. Luckily for them stewards between us. They look on the verge of tears. Night out in Diss later with the bods to celebrate. Arsenal are BACK! CM

@PoliticsForAlI @thetimes No. Never. No way. Refusal. Rejection. Denial. Defiance. Noncompliance. Rebuff. Declination. Disapproval. Disobey. Rebellion. Oppose. Rebel. Cease and desist. CM