Christian Walker

Right, I’m off to bed. Let me know what happens yeah? #EnglandvsItaly #Euro2020Final #ItsComingHome

Watching at my mum’s… Me: “fucking get in!!!” Mum: “did we get one?” Me: “yep, 1-0” Mum: “great, I’ll just pop these aubergines in the oven and come through…” It’s like being at the game

For the record, I'm not gonna show you my tax returns either because, well...I'm a half-used piece of produce in a bag. Not the president.

Jose still knows how to get the best out of @ChelseaFC #CHEMUN

Watching gymnastics. Pretty sure I just tweaked a hamstring reaching for a bag of Maltesers... #athlete #Olympics

Haven't seen this many scumbags in a cabinet since my old history teacher showed me his 20thCenturyDictator bobblehead collection #reshuffle

'Brexit' is now a common noun apparently, as in: "I did a Brexit on your doorstep.. Then got my Johnson out and Goved through the letterbox"

At least now when people ask me if my sony smart phone is any good, I can just point to the elastoplast on the back holding it together...

The only real Facebook intelligence test is whether you believe the findings of your Facebook intelligence test.

@Becca_Cutting that's today?! I thought it was next week... #whichonesmytrailer?

If you walk around with a t-shirt saying "jiu jitsu" on it, surely that's your element of surprise gone immediately...

Posh, ugly, sneaky, racist, green, blinky, smiley. Worst Snow White reboot ever. Julie Etchingham solid in the lead though.. #leadersdebate

Why we desperately need women to dominate politics - basically that’s what’s come out of #leadersdebate

Miliband's been binge watching 'House of Cards'. "Did you think I'd forgotten you? Perhaps you hoped I had..." #leadersdebate

When it comes to fast food, @ray_winstone 's not messing about

The 'walkie talkie' might be the ugliest fat tosser of a building I've ever seen. Can people just build any old shit anywhere they like now?

Happy new year n'stuff

Happy fricken Christmas. Think @timwalker is trying to tell me something...

@ArcticMonkeys @ earls court. Epic.

@spencershapland This is a masterpiece: m.youtube.com/watch?v=O2giBA…