CaptainTouchback

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CaptainTouchback

CaptainTouchback

@CaptTouchback

I make a lot of money ruling the NFL. I enjoy watching great athletes take a knee in the endzone. This is a parody account. Follow me or I will fine you.

Fancy office in New York City Katılım Eylül 2011
1.6K Takip Edilen14.8K Takipçiler
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
First NFL coach to be fired?
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
I’m seeing posts about Chris Robinson and why he had to break up #TheBlackCrowes. Let’s be clear. C Rob is a d*ck. That is why The Black Crowes broke up. Full stop.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Game 7. Overtime. Playoff hockey. It is the best thing in sport.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Dudes gonna be showing up wearing two gloves next weekend at your local muni.
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Brian Hegseth
Brian Hegseth@brianhegseth·
@CaptTouchback The Preakness is completely irrelevant if the Derby winner is not in the field.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
So, by design there are only 4800 people on site at Laurel Park at the #PreaknessStakes. That’s an embarrassment. Why, then, do we have to wait an hour for the Preakness to run?!
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Yes. A thousand times with a personal pan pizza yes.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Scottie No Putt is brutal to watch. Could easily be in the lead, but he can’t make putts that you and I could make.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Hey #CAW your AI 🐂 💩 didn’t have Warming did it?! Suck it.
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Andrew Champagne
Andrew Champagne@AndrewChampagne·
Does 9-1 on Iron Honor in the Preakness seem crazy to anyone else, or is it just me? His Wood is a total throw-out. He got herded way wide into the first turn by a rank speed horse and lost all chance. If 9-1 holds up come post time in a few hours, I will GLADLY take it.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Bull By the Horns is a horse in the #PreaknessStakes that has an emotional support goat. This used to be a proper sport in a proper country.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
From “It’s Brittany, bitch” to “Every song is better a cappella”, the “Michael Scott Paper Co” episode is one of the best all time.
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Programming alert: the “Michael Scott Paper Co” episode of The Office is on Comedy Central right now. #ItsBrittanyBitch
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
I’m not into astrology in the slightest, but is something retrograding right now or are people just randomly more Jack-assish today?
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CaptainTouchback
CaptainTouchback@CaptTouchback·
Nobody wants a 76-team NCAA Tourney or a 24-team college football playoff, but we get that. But everybody knows we need a Preakness in June and a Belmont in July, but that can’t happen for some reason? #Sports
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