Carbosly

I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.

Life is basically just stepping over puddles into bigger ones.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to take photos of my teenagers. Here’s my son having a wonderful time on a canoe-camping trip.

Today I had a work altercation with a millennial. So now I have to buy her a Hallmark card that says "Sorry I asked you to do a job we hired you to do. Sending you positive vibes during this difficult time 🫶🏻"

@KaptanHindustan Des osties de grosses mûres

What do you call it in your local language?

Thanks for making my son’s night @VancityReynolds #GoSensGo

This morning, someone sent me a fax. Someone at my head office received the fax, scanned it, saved it as a PDF, wrote me an email introducing said fax and added it as an attachment. Hooray for progress!!!

Anyone speaks binary code? My car is trying to communicate.

If now is not a good time to eat shitloads of gluten I don’t know what is.

getting v. tired of living inside an interesting part of next century's history textbooks

I’m the trophy wife you get for participating.

@Gushmu La position est déjà remplie mais je te fais signe si elle se libère lol.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you like to drive at the speed limit, the left lane isn’t for you. This lane is reserved for badass motherfuckers willing to die going to Walmart.

Renovating the basement and discovering where all the cat’s toys are at.

if i say to you “i’ll let you know” just go enjoy your day bro

My Sioux name would be "she who resets passwords every time she tries to log in".

It’s 2:22, 2/2/22. You’re welcome.

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Also, he owes you $15,99. Bitch, do I look like a charity? That fish ain't free.

Happy Birthday to 1/365th of my followers!

@Warriortilend But… but… they’ve been around since 1994! 😂

My VP texted me during his Mexico vacation. He couldn’t wait to share his newest find. Something that would revolutionize the way we do marketing. A QR code. That was his big discovery.